Something In the Water?

I've been sick as a dog since Sunday and I've just returned to work this morning. The symptoms I had ranged from extreme light sensitivity, leaving me unable to drive much less go out the house to nausea to dizziness whenever I stood for longer than 5 seconds. This was weird.

Yesterday, reluctant to call off work another day, I tried getting dressed for work. I showered and began to lotion. Got up to reach for my body spray and....damn near fell over from dizziness because the time I had to stand to grab it and sit back down to finish my routine was apparently too long. What in the Hell was wrong with me?!

Because I hate going to the doctor, I began to self-diagnose and listen to other opinions. Anything to keep me from issuing my health insurance card, waiting in a waiting room for a million hours, getting picked and prodded at, and sent unnecessary "necessary" tests "just to make sure all the boxes are checked" which in turn run my pockets to ground even after insurance pays their part, right? I got opinons ranging from having "vertigo" to being pregnant (this I did not find amusing one bit). I even reasoned with myself on Monday night that I had endured a mental breakdown of some sort. I've been so stressed that this sounded like a probable reason for my sudden illness. Plus, aside from becoming hoarse twice a year and the occasional issues I have with my hypoglycemia, I've never really been sick. Something was wrong with me indeed.

My stubborness began to fade and my guy finally took me to the Urgent Care to get the official diagnosis. After waiting for what seemed like IONS (literally) and being issued a CT scan because my massive headache and other symptoms had gone on continuously for three days, it was founded that I had an extreme migraine coupled with a sinus infection. I've never in my life had a sinus issue but my guy smokes so I gather this is where its root formed. I received my meds and went home. Boy I hate the doc though. That wait was ridiculous.

Later on in the day, my guy got sick. And by sick, I mean "head banging suddenly during the Celts game and curling in my lap in the fetal position in front of his boys" type sick. His sinuses started acting up as well. Plus he had oddly sudden flu symptoms. All of this happened in about 30 minutes time.

And now, while at work, one of my coworkers just called off. His sinuses have him begging for mercy. My manager's kids are both sick with the same issues...and they don't live in the same house at all.

I'm inclined to believe that there's something in the water. Though I understand it's "Spring Season" which is an easy translation for "Sick Season" due to the changing and variant temperatures between winter and summer (especially in Chicago; our weather here is definitely Manic Depressive, no jokes), the fact that everyone is getting sick doesnt shock me as much as it alarms me a bit more than it has in past years and times. I just want to stress the importance of taking simple health measures to ensure your health and prevent sickness that seems to be spreading like wildfire.

1. Wash your hands repeatedly - When I was younger I used to be a little OCD with this practice, always washing my hands repeatedly. I dont even recall why I was this way or even when it began to fade to a normal level, but Im sure this helped to contribute to my being relatively healthy for majority of my life too. Anyway, washing before using the bathroom as well as after helps to prevent germs from spreading both to yourself as well as your own germs spreading onto others. And if youre like me and deal with customers all day, you'll see how this very practice is just as important as any other.

2. Water - Now this is something I have to work on myself but....water really is the best medicine this season. I mean hydration is important and not only does water hydrate you but it replenishes and helps to restore a weakened system infected with things like sinus issues and the like. Ive been drinking bottle after bottle of water lately and I am not used to this. I know I said Ive been healthy my whole life but....water has never been a big thing for me. While in high school I HAD to drink it as I was a member of cross country, track and dance, but as a general rule? Nope. As Ive gotten older though, Ive learned that without it, my system is going.to.crumble. Period.

3. Sleep - I talk about my own issues I've had with sleep, which have, as recently as January of this year, just started to normalize and stablize. Sleep is so important.

4. Raw Fruits and Veggies - Since I hate docs and meds with a PASSION!!!, Ive always gotten into the practice of eating raw fruits and vegetables. And not even just because I hate doctors and medications, but also because they are freaking delicious! Ive never been a huge junk food snacker, but Ive always been a snacker! Ive been conditioned since I was little to eat "healthy food", and not even really realize it. I'd eat carrot and celery sticks, apple slices (with no PB), fruit bowls and veggie trays. Mommy made these ALL the time. And now? I only eat chips, cakes and the like when I am absolutely STARVING with no other options. I tell no tales. This is truth. Raw fruits and veggies are medications for the future which means, this is probably why Ive never been sick as well.

That's all I have time to share though. I just felt I needed to tell this tale of illness and the precautions that are easily missed but deemed necessary. We cant take advantage of this body and though its the Season of Sick, that doesnt mean we have to flow with THAT tide.

Ms_Slim

Feelings Schmeelings - May

I saw this post over on one more the blogs I secretly read. And by "secretly", I don't mean "stalking", but rather...I read and go on, rarely comment, if ever. Anyway, I read the blog and thought it was simple enough for me to knock out as a post of my own. So here goes a list of things that for the month of May (so far), I'm "feeling/not feeling". Just a way to sort through the clusterfuck that has become my Life. Enjoy.


FEELING:
-All chocolate everything! I have a serious obsession with chocolate at certain times. This is a constant, but needed to be added.
- The prospects of my immediate future. All circumstances aside, the $ I need will be accessible to me.
-poetry sets and readings. Grab a margarita and sit back and enjoy the show while real poets spit
-a guilty pleasure (we all have them; I just happen to have too many, maybe)
-The weather we're currently having in Chi the past couple of days. We've finally got it right! Let's keep it that way.
-Spring polish. Summer polish. Nail art pens.
-Kisses from and on the lips I adore. Kissing is such a wonderful exercise! Muah!



NOT FEELING:
-My current job. This is not a secret to anyone that knows me. Hate is not (the good enough) word. At all.
-The lingering depression Ive been feeling lately. It's left me uncomfy and insecure at times where I'd otherwise be my normal self. This? Not cool.
-The usual: annoyingly loud females, liars, nosey people....etc
-This current identity crisis. I know who I am and where I wanna be. Just the "right now" portion of the process has left me stuck because I've sort of lost myself in the hustle and bustle of trying to satisfy what society has deemed "most important" (bills and the American Dream that's associated with having a piece of mind, rather than exploring without a care and just centering in on my happiness. Trust that that will change)
-The mouse (who I've named Chuck E) in my house that's made its way DEEP into my psyche. Im currently at the library typing this right now in a desperate attempt to NOT be at home. iCant with rodents. But alas....I'll continue those tales of the rodent tail in another blog. Maybe.

Revelation: Forgiveness

"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea" -Micah 7:18-19

Forgiveness? I don't really do that. In fact, I've been known to cut a person out of my life completely before ever thinking about forgiving them for a wrong. In my mind, it is easier to completely remove myself from caring about said person (because the "situation" or "wrongdoing" is connected to them), than to use all of my physical and mental (and sometimes spiritual) energy getting angry and actually emoting. I'd just get angry briefly and decide that it's easier to have them not in my life anymore especially if the drama/situation/wrongdoing is, in fact, extremely stressful in one way or another.

But as I get older, I find...the method of me solving an issue by not solving it at all just doesnt work as effectively. You can't cut everyone out who does you wrong. Not only does that make for more complications in the long haul (what irony, right?), but it also doesnt promote any kind of growth or maturity within my person.

So I'm consciously working on my forgiving.

Now don't get me wrong. This is not to say that whenever anyone mistreats me, I never speak to them again. That is completely unrealistic. I'm just saying that because I consciously work to eliminate any stressors from my life that I can control, if a situation/person/etc is doing THAT much "damage" to my cipher, I quickly decide that I dont need them anymore. At all. And quiet as kept, they are removed. Permanently. I don't really forgive.

Now don't get me wrong (again). This is also not to say that EVERYTHING is eligible for the "you're forgiven and all is well" treatment. It is not and baby steps are definitely what I am on. At the end of the day, sometimes it really IS better to just leave a situation or a person completely and have nothing to do with them anymore because said "damage" is just too grave. I understand this. Maybe some others dont. Maybe more do. But for ME...this is what works.

I recognize that I need to work on this. And that is the first step.

"Forgiveness. I will work on this."

Even saying it rings a little strange. It's all a part of the "bigger picture" for me though. My growth, mentally and spiritually, is the driving force behind my wanting to change things up a bit. It isn't going to be easy, but I've gotta learn to think..."what if the tables were turned, would I want to be forgiven?" Im nowhere near perfection and at times it feels as though my flaws capitalize on everything that's "right" with me. With all that said, I'm getting a better understanding of the perspective of others and this...is what is helping me in everything that I do in regards to this revelation. It is what is essential for growth.

-Ms_Slim

ps; I promise a "less blue"-esque post next! Getting kinda tired of the gray myself!

Return with a Review!!!

*opens door slowly and peeks around corner* Yall there? I wouldnt be too surprised if anyone left. Afterall, I have been flaky on my postings (both here and there) for quite a while. For now though and in this moment, Im here! Yay!

Anyway...

So while I was on hiatus, I received a sudden and extremely unexpected email from Jewelry Art Designs [dot] com asking me to try a complimentary item off of their website and review it on my blog. I remember reading it to myself and thinking, "where did this come from? Is this a joke?!" I figured it HAD to be because well....though I do display a few bits of beauty here and there on my blog (as well as having been featured on a few beauty and nail blogs a few times)along with other stuff like ya know...politics, love, music, and things like that, my blog is typically NOT a fashion one. Not in the least. But then I thought..."Free jewelry annnd I get to blog about it with links and exposure for both the blog and their site as well?" I almost jumped at the chance. I say "almost" because I figured if I accepted their gracious offer (go look at the website to see what I mean; the jewelry is pretty nice), one: there's a chance I'd be doing them a disservice because I knew it would take me a while to post on the jewelry (Life is really kicking up for me, not like that's anything new, but still...) and two....what if I didnt like their products and they were counting on me to shoot up a review? I'm definitely a "tell it like it is" type of person but honestly, how can I post a review if I didnt like their product AND I got it for the free? #ImJustSaying....these are the things I consider when someone asks me their HONEST opinion. I am too honest at times....

I admit that Im a bit overanalytical but I finally decided, 'why not?'....And so I did and......

I was pleasantly surprised! I absolutely LOVE pearls, so from the site, I decided to order the Pearl Drop Dangle Earrings. After placing my order and having them shipped to my company, I was happy to receive my product when promised (within 3-5 days). +5 cool points for being prompt from me!

When I opened the initial shipping box, here's what lay before me:

(a small velvet box that holds my earrings. Really nice!)

Close-up:

(Cute, yes?)

About the Company: The online jewelry store is called, "Jewelry by LuShae" nd is an up and coming jewelry store. They've actually asked a lot of bloggers for their opinions on an item of their choice for them to review. The site hosts a wide range of earrings, necklaces, penants and rings (including promise rings) of multiple facets, types, shapes and sizes from the dangling earrings you see on this blog to more subtle types like studs and hoops of various sizes.

Good For: Mother's Day is in just a few days. Why not make an impromptu order from the site to get her a Purple Brilliance silver penant or some Gold Hoop Earrings coupled with a Modern Mesh Cuff?

The Service: Everything I did with my transaction with this company was interacted via email. I conversed with the "associate" (not really sure if she wants her name exposed on my site), and told her when I'd be ordering, went onto the site and placed my complimentary order and emailed her when said order was placed detailing her what my order entailed just in case she wasnt sure exactly WHICH order was mine. The exchanges were and are always pleasant. And even when I had been "dragging my feet" on a review because of my hiatus, she understood and knew that I wouldnt let her or the company down. Not to mention, my order was very prompt and on-time just as promised! The Service? A-plus!

To Order: Just go to their website, browse, and order. It's that simple. The pricing is affordable and realistic for modern jewelry and you won't be disappointed. Trust me. I am the most critical person I know. Mark my word--you'll be satisfied!

I'm Alive, but still on...Hiatus...

"My Soul's been moved and danced upon and picked and prodded and questioned and evaluated and hypothesized and experimentized....." (c) Me

So...

I'll be back here in May.

Til then......this is where I am: HERE!

Enjoy!

Ms_Slim

Recess...

In the recesses of my mind, I sit and think. Think and sit. Then act. And reflect. Then make changes if needed. This is the order of my processes---of my stream of recessed consciousness.

I think about where I am, where my current path is headed where I wanna be and what routes in my path need to be diverted changed or altered to get me to my desired destination. I reflect on the accomplishments I have, the credentials on my resume, and my collective hard work I've put in over a period of years and do a mental cross analysis of where that work and effort has landed me in present-day. I must admit that in the recesses of my mind I can get a bit discouraged and outright frustrated at times. I must remember that no one said the road on Life Blvd was a smooth one. Rather, its bumpt and filled with mass construction at certain intersections which causes some pretty heavy bumper-to-bumper traffic. Sometimes traffic is light and sometimes you'll come upon random pedestrians trying to divert you off your path by selling goods while you're at a stop light or even walking directly w/in your line of sight. And with that, sometimes there's an accident of the detrimental variety and other times the accident is a blessing in disguise. Whatever the case, the path is unpredictable and uninhibited entirely. What doesn't change is the fact that you're behind the wheel and at the end of the day, its you that's in charge of your destination, no one else.

I've digressed completely. Well....sorta.

I'm in charge of my path and in times of frustration, sitting, thinking, acting, and reflecting all in the recesses of my mind, I realize that its up to no one but my own person to change my path (or alter it in some way) to get to my desired destination....

Revelation: Faith

*I know I've been gone for months on end. A ton of stuff has happenedleaving me with much more responsibilities and priorities under mybelt than I ever bargained for within the last 4 months. Life....*


But let's talk about Faith. And me.

Faith....


I've got it. But I question it very often. I believe it. But for me,I've always struggled with the concept of "complete blind faith". It didn't make sense to me (but I guess that's the point--the "testing of faith"), and I'm at an age and mental state where things have to make relative "sense" otherwise.....I just don't deal with it. I admit Ihave low patience.

But its different with Faith....

I look at my tat and realize its representation. From the symbol (an obviously foreign Japanese symbol of "Faith"), to the color (deepblack on my marginally caramel skintone) to the size (rather small butvery visible) to its location (top right corner of my chestbone) and even the fact that its a permanently sewn emblem to begin with, "Faith" is a thing I am constantly trying to understand. At the same token, thru the depths of my own questions and outright misunderstanding also lies a very real truth that Faith is in me permanently. I've got it. I do believe. I recognize it, but I have to practice it in order to have it even a little bit "perfect"...whateverthat means.

Growing up, while church was a "big deal", having a faith and believing was an even "bigger" and more important topic of discussion. Depending on which member of my family you are talking to, the concepts of faith tend to vary (going to church every Sunday and dressing up meant your faith was huge to some, while for others faith was rooted wholely in a belief, not relying on church attendance as a determinant of faith strength). As I got older,I made my own path. Deep down inside, I always felt that my brain was too advanced to follow anything blindly. Not that I'm "too smart for God" or anything even close to that, but rather that...I've got too many"unanswerable" questions. And the set up of church often irritates me. Its in my nature to question what doesn't add up to me and w/religion, I often feel I can't ask those questions without a ridiculous and unsettling debate, so for me its..."l'm a Believer. Of God and Christ". And leave it at that. I'm content with that. I believe in going to church and worshipping but I don't go every Sunday nor do I feel I have to. The bigger picture for me is doing right by others and making sure that I keep to the "Higher Power" that I know exists, even though I question Him (and myself) silently at times. I pray, but I admit that I could do it more often...but so far I haven't and I dont.

The extent of my Faith has been tested repeatedly as of late--most especially within the last 4 months. I realize I never lost it because when in doubt, it was God I called on to help me thru whatever trial and tribulation I was faced with at the time. Faith has humbled me greatly while still keeping me at an above-average level of confidence. And thru all of this, I'm proud to say I'm currently the happiest I've been in a very long time...

All due to Faith....

Good Hair: The Individual and the Lifestyle

This is the third and last installment of the "Good Hair" series. If you've missed it, the first two parts are found here and here. Go back, read, comment, then come back here. I'll wait.


Okay now that we've got that out the way....

Good Hair: The Individual and the Lifestyle

In today's age, our hair is a representation of both our individuality as well as our lifestyle in the present. The style changes, the treatments, the methods of care chosen, be those methods self-care all the way to weekly visits and personal stylists are all a matter of choice....but also partially (and in some cases, wholly) influenced by our rather complex psyche over the years, as stated in the last installment.

While the history and the psyche play such large roles on our personal choices for hairdress, the surface of such is depicted upon by the individual and their comfort and suitability with a certain style, method of hairdress or frequency and type of hair care (ie: style = braids, method of hairdress = relaxed, frequency and type of hair care = sole care, biweekly treatments)

As stated in the last installment, in our culture, there's a subliminal message engraved for Black women (and men alike) when it comes to our hair and the consenses over the years has always been "straight is great" and "nappy is unhappy". Depending on the person, those beliefs tend to vary in the true context.

But the Reality of the Situation is.......

Nappy doesn't always equal 'Unhappy'. To some, the "nappy" context is a representation of the black struggles and should be glorified proudly as a reminder of how far we as a collective has come, no matter the texture. However, to others, the "nappy" context is but a thorn in their side to show just how different we are, how many MORE struggles we have to get through, going all the way down to our hair, and thus, the attempt to assimilate to be better contestants in the game of Life against our White counterparts is a part of our system that is so engrained we (collectively) don't realize it.

Either way...as I said in the first installment, our hair is bigger than......our hair.

And either way, it all boils down to choice (when dealing with the surface of it all).
And speaking of our "competitors"...

I've talked with several White/European coworkers and friends with respect to this topic and just like Chris Rock briefly said on Oprah (no, I still have not seen the movie), in the eyes of Whites, for them, "straight isnt ALWAYS great". Like us, Whites also have a "secret life" when it comes to hair care and just like us, their methodology and reasoning behind their choices of hairdress rests within the aspects of: vanity, individuality, and lifestyle.

I've talked with White women who have complained about the state of their hair and how and why they use the artificial methods of bleaching, coloring and even relaxers (to make their hair curly in opposed to when we use relaxers to make our hair straight--an averse effect, indeed) and while their reasons rests LARGELY in vanity and lifestyle preferences where ours is LARGELY based on history and subliminal psychological complexes and contexts, as one White person said to me, "we all want to change something in ourselves that we don't have; we are always happy, but never satisfied". I agreed.

Lifestyle shapes an individual, not the other way around...

In this day and age, women are busy, with many holding full time jobs, homes to upkeep and children to keep in line at all times. The least of many women's worries is our hair as the stress and strains of every day Life tend to take the reins leaving our hair to be of extreme importance but also something that is moreso waning to the side of "what's more convenient for me" rather than, "what do I REALLY want to do with my hair".

On the flip side of it all though, hair, especially Black hair is also very diverse. With so many advancements and means of "looking right at the right [usually expensive] price", many women would opt to go for what's more suitable (and convenient) to their lifestyle rather than the dynamics of "what's more 'Black'" and whathaveyou. And while everyone does what is at a better convenience to them as to allieviate whatever unnecessary stress and strain that they can, the true dynamics of what is "convenient" just so happens to be in direct opposition to what is "socially accepted/liked" in the first place.

So what's MY story?
I am currently going Natural. As I've mentioned several times throughout this series, my Natural state is wavy and not coarse and even when I was getting relaxers, I did not get them but 3 times a year. My reason for the "change" though? Merely preference. For me, it's mainly about versatality than anything else. As a general rule, it takes a lot to keep me stimulated with a lot of the "same" things (and I just can not wait to wrap up this series so I can talk about something else lol), so in regards to my hair, I tend to switch up a lot. In the same vein, I also have complexes with weaves and artificial anything...so I don't engage and have opted to change my actual hair in opposed to wearing wigs or weaves for changes. Because of that, I've worn my hair long (my hair has been characteristically "long" my entire life up until 2008) to a bob to really short (as you see in the right hand corner pic here) to how it is now--growing back and just touching my shoulders (I was going to post pics of myself but got lazy, smh)

Though I have changed my hair over the years and have complexes with wigs and weaves and certainly don't bash anyone that uses them, I am also VERY finicky about what I use and do to my hair. I use NO "new" products--all age-old remedies and even create my own conditioners and treatments. I also do my own hair 98% of the time with trips to the salon only for when I need a trim.

(Most recent photo)

So how am I going Natural?

I went short in 2008 and loved it. After 6 months, though, I got bored and have allowed it to grow back ever since. Long hair is truly what I am accustomed to and I don't see myself cutting my hair really short again, so how am I going Natural?

As stated in the last installment, there are many methods to use other than simply cutting all of your hair off if you decide to go Natural. For me, while I am not relaxing my hair (its been about 6 months already), I am letting whatever relaxer I have left in my hair to grow out and after a stretch of time, I'll cut it off, but by then the relaxer will only be on the ends, so my hair would not be "bald short" when I cut it. Wish me luck.

That's just my story. And it fits my lifestyle which influences me as an individual.

Good Hair: The Psyche

(Note: This is Part 2 of a 3 part series. If you haven't caught the first installment, click here.)

Good Hair: The Psyche

The psyche is maybe the strongest factor in human decision making and perception. It's so strong that it has the tendency/ability to control a person's actions, thoughts and personal theories without notice. Unfortunately, society has the strong ability to do this as well.

As stated in the first part of this series, the psyche behind black hair in conjunction with "Good Hair" is something that has been a big factor and "issue" for MANY years. Before Chris Rock's movie, before the hippie/black power days of the 60s-70s, before the days of the "cunk", later termed the relaxer, before the start of the 1900s even. The history is what has given birth to the definition, which has definitely influened the theory and the theory is, for all intents and purpose, the product of the psyche.

Enter, the Psyche behind Good Hair.

The Psyche that stands amongs many African-Americans in regards to "good hair" and "natural hair" is that "straight is great" and "nappy is unhappy". Before writing this post today, I spoke on this issue with two fellow bloggers, one that has been natural for as long as I've known her (I've known her for three years) and another who is a faithful member of the Relaxed Club. Both shared with me their views on both natural hair as well as relaxed hair, while at the same time not discriminating against the opposing "side" for their choice of hair dress.

"Natural will never be an option for me. Not everyone is meant to be natural" - the relaxed sister stated.

I profusely disagreed. We are all born natural and whether that natural state is wavy like mine or coarse as a brillo pad, everyone is essentially "meant" to be natural. Natural is...well...natural.

However.................just like with relaxed hair and any hair style a person chosen, there is upkeep to be enforced. The very idea that "not everyone is meant to be natural" , in my opinion, is the product of that psyche that has been produced by society throughout the ages that say "you must have straight or relaxed hair, otherwise, you just don't look professional/pulled together/like you belong"

As my relaxed friend continued, however, she expressed her concerns with going natural to be moreso along the lines of the process in itself, rather than the finished look therein. When a person who has had a relaxer for a while opts to go Natural, it is customary that they cut their hair off to very short (cut all the relaxer out as a perm is.....well....permanent) and allow it to grow in that way. I can agree that not everyone has the head for a "near bald" look. At the same time though, there are a TON of options in regards to going Natural. One does not HAVE to cut all the hair off outright. They can allow their hair to grow in and not get a relaxer for a substantial period of time and then after a while and the hair has grown to the point where the relaxed portion of hair is but on the tips or ends, then they can cut it off and TRULY be a Natural. Another option is cutting all the hair off and opting for wigs, weaves, braids, etc while the hair grows underneath. That way the person isn't "outright bald" while trying to rock the Natural.

It's all understood that there is a vanity that comes with hair, especially Black hair in general. However, what is further missed or overlooked is the understanding that that vanity is nine times out of ten based on the views of society and what is generally accepted as "good hair" has done to the individual's psyche in the first place. It all plays a role.

"I try not to judge either way. I just know that relaxed isn't for me anymore" - the natural sister stated.

This opinion is of the "least-accepted" in our country and is also a prime example of how society can affect a person's thoughts and perceptions when it comes to self-worth and self-acceptance. In the directly above quote, she tries not to judge. She isn't condemning anyone that decides to continue with relaxed hair. On the flip, she knows it "isnt for HER". It is by her sole decision that she finds being Natural a better fit for HER. Who cares what society thinks, right? Not everyone carries this belief though and I wish they did.

If society were better accepting to the natural state of African or African-American hair, there wouldn't be any issues of what 'good hair' is, a description to "bad hair" or even weaves, chemical treatments. I'm quite sure that with our technological advancements, these things will still reign our society, BUT they wouldnt be such a means of discussion and there wouldn't be such a "hidden depth" behind such either. They also wouldn't be so important that women would find spending a thousand dollars on "the right kinda hair" something they just "had to do to keep their hair looking right" (aka: keeping up with the standards of society under the unknown guise of "just needing her hair done"). And why? Because if society were more accepting and if society didn't paint such a foul picture of African and African American hair and if "nappy wasnt unhappy" and "straight wasnt the only thing great", then she wouldnt HAVE to go through such lengths to "look good", she'd find that her natural hair is good enough and she'd embrace it and rock on with her bad self and smile while doing it.


But alas, this isn't a perfect society and our society is instead primarily driven on the "visual" versus any other aspects of humanity and our society has provided the invisible "okay" on the Theory of Good Hair for SO long that SO many people can't tell the differene anymore.

And thus, our Psyche is collectively transformed.




The last installment: "Good Hair: The Individual and the Lifestyle" next. Stay tuned.

Good Hair: An Examination and first part--Good Hair: The History, the Definition, and the Theory

(Note: I originally wrote this blog before the movie came out last Friday)

For anyone who's in tune with what's going on in theaters soon, Chris Rock has a "comedic documentary" coming out which he titled, "Good Hair". This documentary is supposed to be an "inside look" on what goes on behind the scenes with Black women when it comes to our hair.....with a comedic flair. (rhyming non-intended).

Last week, Chris Rock was featured on Oprah and spoke about his documentary. Throughout the show, he spoke about weaves, relaxers, hair length, theories and "rules" amongst Black women when it comes to our hair and our relationships with our men, and most importantly.......the texture of Black hair in conjunction with our European and Indian counterparts. Personally, I thought the Oprah special was pretty good, yet disheartening on a few levels (which I plan to get into as this series continues). However, I couldn't help but notice how he, Chris Rock, didn't really DELVE into the psyche behind why so many black women opt for weaves, relaxers and the like to begin with. He only discussed the surface (at least that's all he touched on the show; who knows what the actual documentary will discuss or how far it will go into the topic).

In case you missed it on Oprah though, here is a clip of Chris Rock's appearance on Oprah last week.




This discussion is a lot broader than people may come to realize. In picking apart the entire dynamic of Black Women and "Good Hair", I've decided to create a "Good Hair": An Examination series broken into the following:

1. The History, the Definition, and the Theory

2. The Psyche

3. The Individual and the Lifestyle

Let's start with the first point.........

*********************************************************************************************

Good Hair: The History, the Definition, and the Theory:


The History:

Black people have the coarsest and most difficult texture of hair of any other race of people. Historically speaking, our hair is also the least likely to grow to magnificent and glorious lengths. However, over the span of time, our hair has been a defining factor into our culture as a Black people. The braids, the afros, the locs, and other "natural" styles are signature and "representative" styles that separate us from other races and bound us as a culture. In short, our hair is bigger than.....our hair (I hope that made sense).

Most Blacks here in America are not completely African. Stemming from slavery, our black blood has been mixed with other races which would and could have a direct effect on our black hair, making it seemingly "less" black and otherwise "good hair".

Since the beginning of time, African-Americans have been defined by the characteristics of their (our) hair. Rewinding back into the days of even slavery where there were "house slaves" and "field slaves" determined by skin pigmentation, hair texture also played a role in this as well. Because many "house slaves" (lighter toned blacks), were of mixed race, their hair was less coarse, less "nappy" and better accepted overall. However, at the end of the day, they were black nonetheless, which didn't exempt them from being a slave in the least. However, it did restrict them from having to work the long and excruciating hours on plantations. Instead, they worked in house, tended to the needs inside and were better treated. Their hair, like their skin pigmentation, played a very real role in the deciding factor of "who does what".

Over many many years and countless renovations within society--from socioeconomic issues between the races to perceptions carried from African-American to African-American, the strength our hair has had has always been a huge determinant in anything we have done as a collective race from job placements to even who we will date and through the ages, one thing has remained a very real and exceedingly strong constant--the talk of what "good hair" is. And even through all of this, the definition has always been about texture and length versus health and strand strength as it should be. It's always been "Straight is Great/Nappy is Unhappy". Always. There's always been a real psychology behind our hair when it comes to social standards and acceptance. And what's worse? Many blacks are so inept to this realization that they either don't bother to realize it or hear of the realization and get up in arms. Well this is truth. There's a psychology behind our hair. Period. (and that will be discussed in part 2).


The Definition:

The term, "good hair" has been made very common "slang-speak" amongst Black males and females across the board location-wise. The description of "good hair" is usually long, usually not the stereotypical "coarse" or "nappy" hair and is by many standards "better" hair. In short, it's everything the "standard" "Black hair" is not. In my opinion, it's actually a backhanded compliment when someone clamors over my hair and say, "you've got that GOOD HAIR" based on the texture of my hair (my hair is not coarse but rather wavy and I have no real need for relaxers. Until the Big Snip of '08, my hair used to be "long"). In my opinion, "good hair" is that which is healthy, regardless of its texture and visible length, but rather in its density and strand strength. However, this definition is not what "good hair" is defined as, only the former has carried.


The Theory:


The theory of "good hair" is that "good hair" is better, preferred by most, easier to manage and better accepted throughout society. Since that is the "theory" (and in many cases, truth), many black women have opted to conform to this theory and have taken it as a means of "being accepted in White America" without really knowing it. Enter the weaves, the different types of sew-ins and wigs, the costly transformations from "Black girl" to "oh she must be mixed with..........." phenom.......


Next blog: Good Hair: The Psyche. Stay tuned!

Green Eyes

I know our love will never be the same
But I can't stand the growing pains




"Emotions run rampant as I sit in reflection, mentally reenacting the times and places in which caused me to become so engulfed in love with you......It's gonna be a while before I'm once again complacent" -Me


Today I don't feel this way.
This October 7th, 2009, I don't hold this emotion.
In this present moment, I am happy.
Not hurt. I'm okay.

But once upon a time, I felt like this
I was this woman before
Eyes so green I become another, less likeable version of myself
A woman scorned

...By Love (capital necessary)

.......and this song sang a familiar tune to my soul.

*le sigh*

MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Before I heal, it's gonna be a while
I know it's gonna be a while, chile

I Love My City, But.....

.......this violence has GOT TO STOP!!!!


Yesterday morning I woke up feeling GRAND! This almost NEVER happens as I am the anti-morning person. Mornings don't really work well with me. No speaking. No conversing. Nothing. Not til at least 11am (it used to be noon; I've made progress). But yesterday, I woke up feeling like it was 3pm on a bright summer day. Last weekend was awesome, my birthday party was a huge success and I spent the rest of the weekend with friends and family. I really enjoyed myself. So, on Monday morning, I put some pep in my step, rocked on to my Pandora on my SlimBerry*, and headed to work with all smiles. I felt great!

As the day wore on though, I learned of the killing of 16 year old Derrion Albert that happened on my birthday last Thursday (I did not watch the video) and as I kept being informed of his truly horrific death, my mind took a flashback to 2008, where I lost two friends I'd known since before my high school years, one of which I was really close with. (I blogged on it here)

The more information I received, the more depressed I became. This is so much bigger than the single death of this young and innocent teen in Chicago. This, at least for me, was the straw that broke this camel's back.

I really can't take it anymore!

I woke up this morning feeling incredibly blah....a complete 180-turn from yesterday morning. No more pep. Pandora was on but...I wasn't feeling it really. I was just....blah. My heart was heavy and I felt weary. The crime here is getting worse and something MUST be done in my city!

On the whole, Chicago needs improvements across the board. The education system is lacking, there's money in the city, but it doesn't go to where it needs to go to help properly educate our youth...and pay those educators a more reasonable salary to aid in motivating said educators to...educate in the first. I know funds aren't as available given the size of the city and the amount of kids and teens that are in dire need of a proper education, but something has to give.

If education (what should be a child's primary focus in their 'growing years') were where it should be, I firmly believe that the violence in the city wouldn't be as high as it is right now. It's STAGGERING right now. In 2008, Chicago reached a whopping 538 senseless killings of persons under the age of 25 in ONE YEAR! (Sidenote: My friend Kermit being the 500th- Rev. Jesse Jackson Sr was at the funeral; I spoke with him briefly). Now that total is worse than that and it isn't even October yet?! There's a problem in the Chi water. A huge problem.

It goes without saying that Chicago is one of the most important, most talked about, most admired cities in the entire world. And because of that, we even have a bid for the Olympics in 2016 to be held here. This is an event that will literally cost millions on top of millions (if not billions) of dollars. Funds and donations have been put in play for the bid to be placed in Chicago for a LONG time. It's a truly exciting event but.....

....my mind just says, "what about the violence toll? What about these kids?"

Mayer Daly's mind is primarily on the Olympics. "We'll deal with the kids and the education system later. That issue will always be there" he says with his actions.

......Okay...but the kids may not always be here.

It's just a sad situation overall in my eyes. Priorities are once again shifted onto what can be "covered up" whilst maintaining the "image" that Chicago is of "Elite-status"--one of the best of the best-the creme de la crop. Top dog. Whatever.

It's all smoke and mirrors.

The reality of the situation is.....yes, Chicago is awesome, but underneath that awesomeness--underneath the ravishness of Navy Pier, Lake Shore Drive, Michigan Ave, Hyde Park, Bronzeville, the beaches, the museums, the art and the culture--lies a terrible underbelly of a different kinda "culture"--a rawness that reeks of hate and pisses ignorance which breeds fear within our kids who are afraid to go to school for fear of being killed en route due to the senseless killings taking the lives of their peers right before their eyes.

I'm moved to start a non-profit organization of some sort--an Afterschool Program for our youth here in the city. I was a mentor in grade school and college. I'm moved not solely by Derrion Albert's death, but by the consistency of the deaths here in my city as a whole.

Something really needs to change. I just hope that change can be sought before it's too late...




*SlimBerry is my BlackBerry Tour

24

Tomorrow is the date. 24 years on this Earth. It's my Golden Year....

And how do I feel about it?

*shrugs* I've got no feelings really.

Fact is...as I get older, I tend to look at Life through a different lens, expanding my perspective by pulling through the perception of others and their experiences and lives and also...by simply learning Life's lessons as I go.

If I could sum "me" up in just one word and expand on its meaning for me, well.......I couldn't. There are far too many adjectives that can be used to describe my person. I guess that's why I'm a Libra. I'm the most indecisive person I know. (I'm also a Virgo personality-wise, but that's neither here nor there)...

I'm constantly working on myself, trying to improve, elevate myself in all aspects of my life (intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, etc), and just try and become a better person all around. It's definitely a process that seems to never end and while I'll always be a "work in progress", I've taken note of a few things that I've noticed about myself on the way.

1. I'm Impatient - This is in reference to myself as well as things and people around me. At times I feel like my impatient nature is waning and I'm getting "better" but then something will happen (or not happen) and I'll get impatient with myself...or others around me for that something happening or not happening. I contribute this to two factors...

2. ...I'm Spoiled (still) - Blame P3 for this, but before him, I was unreasonably spoiled. He just curbed it. smh. No I am not the only child. I'm the middle child and I definitely had a case of Middle Child Syndrome, but I've always found a way to get my way and if I don't...I dont "throw a fit" but....I get impatient. Second factor would be...

3. ...I've got a bucketload of Pride - I've joked many a time that when I leave this great Earth, my cause of death would be none other than me partaking in one of the Seven Deadly Sins far too often. That deadly sin.......is Pride. I've got a very high self-esteem and I'm pretty independent and very used to having to deal with everything on my own. With that being said, I dont find comfort in asking for help. I see that as a weakness. Yes I am aware I need to work on this....but it, just like the other things listed, is a process, nothing to be achieved overnight.

4. I'm very indecisive. In everything - It's a mess. I flip flop my mind so much, I oftentimes get a headache. I weigh out the pros and cons of Life far too often, preventing me from simply "living" and giving trust a try. This brings me to my next point....

5. I (still) have unbelievable trust issues - I swear I'm going to try VERY hard to work on this. I say this very often. I'm serious this time lol. Me taking on the weight of myself plus the weight of others can only go so far. I'm actively taking the baby steps into becoming a more "open" person by opening up when necessary (see: giving advice, as a means to help someone else, but not just run of the mill chatter). Gotta learn to crawl before you walk and walk before you run.

6. I really do love but I'm not easy to love - It's all guard and my inability to pull said guard down at times. I realize it's all up to me. I've just got to learn patience with myself in easing the guard as well as patience with those around me as they muster the patience towards me while I very slowly let down said guard. (Did that confuse you?)

7. I'm growing out of my Fear factor I've held onto for so long but...it's still relatively there - Life experiences has me at a more "optimistic realist" approach in Life while at the same time fearing advancement because everyone knows that advancement comes with falls first. I'm just afraid of the falls. I don't heal easily. Again, still a process I have to get through. I'm learning.

Stop.

I don't usually do dual posts. Okay, sometimes, I do...but most of the time, they are intentional. Today though, it is not.

About an hour after I posted my last post, I discovered that Maia Campbell was on the Trending Topics list on Twitter. (For those non-Twitterers, a Trending Topic is a theme of discussion on the popular social networking site, Twitter.com). Anyway, it appears as though a YouTube (and HoodTube) video was released on the internet, which showed Maia Campbell visibly angry, disoriented, and lashing out at the "cameraman" who was clearly picking fun of her for nearly 7 minutes.

Stop. Let's rewind a bit, shall we?

Who is Maia Campbell, you ask?

Remember the sitcom, "In the House" with LLCoolJ and Debbie Allen? She was the long-haired pretty and popular high school teenager on that show. Some years later, it is rumored and "confirmed" that Campbell does drugs.
Here is the issue that most people don't/didn't know:

While it is true that Campbell does drugs, this is what people don't understand. Maia has an illness. A mental illness. She is Manic Depressive. That, in so many words, is the equivalent of her being Bipolar. What this means is....unlike the run-of-the-mill strung out person on drugs, she CAN NOT just "stop herself and get herself out of the trouble she caused" and other hoopla I've seen spread and dispersed like wildfire over the Twittersphere. Because she has a mental illness, she LITERALLY can't control her own life and "make her life change for the better" and blah blah. No. She is mentally ill. She needs help. Professional help.

"But what about her taking medication?"

That is the other thing, folks. While I am not at all a psychologist, I do know a bit about psychotic disorders and I am very well-versed on the effects of Manic Depression. With Manic Depression, the mind goes through extreme mood swings that literally go from a "manic" (extremely happy, gallant state) to extreme depression (so down, suicide is considered state). Medication, though is triggered to help the person with this issue usually has some TERRIBLE side effects. Side effects so terrible, the Manic Depressive person can literally opt out all together from taking their meds because the side effects are just too much for them to bear (some side effects are actually periods of EXTREME Manic Depression until the body adjusts to the medication and there is no telling just how long that transitional period lasts).

Enter Maia's Introduction to Drugs

Maia knows she isnt feeling "like herself" and she is well aware that she is "out of mind" or however you want to term it. But those meds? You can [almost] forget it. To a person with Manic Depression, those medications may feel like you're going "crazier". But drugs? Drugs, just like alcohol, allieviate you of your mindstate and make you feel "better" about yourself and your surroundings. This is why drugs (and alcohol) are so addictive. The "feel good" factor is something EVERYONE who has ever been tipsy, drunk, high, etc can relate to. Maia knows she needs help but the help that is offered to her makes her feel worse. The "natural" reaction is to turn to drugs--a stimulant that makes a person feel better temporarily. Once it wears off though and reality kicks in? She's back to feeling manic or extremely depressed...and she can't get out of it. Thus an addiction so that that "feel good" factor doesn't wear off so easily is birthed. She needs help. Professional help.

So stop.

Just stop with the the jokes and making her a hit on the Trending Topics list. It isn't funny. Stop with the assumptions on what you think you know about her situation. She may have "done this to herself" as far as doing drugs goes, but if you REALLY think about/educate yourself on/take a minute to let it all sink in.......she literally can't help herself. She needs help.

When you are out of mind, you are literally not responsible for your actions. Period.



I advise people to read a very good book by my favorite author, her mother, Bebe Moore-Campbell. Her mother died in 2006, a day after Maia's 30th birthday of a brain tumor/cancer. Before she died, however, she penned many a novel and is a GREAT author. The book I advise yall to pick up and read is: "72 Hour Hold". It's a fictional tale about a mother and her relationship with her daughter that has Bipolar Disorder (later termed "Manic Depression"). This book is also closely related to her relationship with her daughter. I read somewhere that it is that relationship that gave her the inspiration needed to write the book.


To learn more about Manic Depression, click here...

CB on the TV

(I couldn't think of a more "catchy" title at the moment. Deal with it.)

I haven't really blogged in what feels like months. Busy as a bumble bee. Nah...busier. But now that I've got some time, some thoughts to share with the world, and a little soapbox to stand on, I figure I'll give it a go. Ride with me:

So last night, I was watching Larry King feature Chris Brown's first interview since the fight him and Rihanna had in February. Twitter went crazy over the talk of Brown's ridiculous bow tie as well as his very apparent juvenile-esque demeanor while being interviewed.

Here's my take on the interview:

I think that Chris Brown held his own during the interview. In such a greatly media publicized debacle, I believe that given the circumstances, Chris Brown acted as any guilty, young celebrity who is bombarded by Larry King with the same question asked 527 different ways should act. He was respectable to both himself as well as Rihanna, well-mannered and to my surprise, didn't lose his temper one time. Personally, if it were me, since I hate being asked intrusive questions, much less asked the SAME question over a hundred different ways, I'd have exploded. But of course, I'm no celebrity.

Many times, Larry King asked intrusive and rather "illegal" questions trying to pick into the private conversations Chris Brown had with Rihanna and each time, Brown responded with, "I'd rather not get into those details out of respect for Rihanna as well as myself". I'll have to admit that I was impressed with the boy, not to mention.....he looked fine as wine. Damn. But that's completely besides the point (I just never really noticed it much until last night, but still....). And of course, Chris Brown stumbled a little on his wording and appeared "inexperienced" in his interview. I'm not making excuses but I majored in journalism in college. At the end of the day, Chris Brown is a very young young man in a very grown-up type situation. I understand that Chris was/is nervous and spent the ENTIRE segment making sure his words were articulated correctly. It was obvious that he did not want to say something that could be twisted around in a way he did not intend. And if he came close to saying something questionably incorrect (wording-wise), he had his lawyer present to step in. I can't fault this interview at all.


Many times during the interview, Chris Brown apologized, citing how sorry he was, that he still loved and is still in love with Rih Rih, how his actions were "not like him" and how he wished he would have "handled the situation differently and better". He even stated multiple times that he had no recollection of the night's events. He blacked out. I believe it fully. Why? Well because it's happened to me before. There have been (very VERY rare occasions) where I've gotten so angry my face turns red and I can't see clearly. When this happens, I usually just fall asleep but if I don't? I won't remember anything that happens immediately after I get in the "mode". One of my friends even called me "Hulk Mal" last time I was in the "mode". The point is...black outs happen. And they can happen while angry.

Personally, I think everyone should give him a chance to redeem himself. Just like any other human, people make mistakes. We should only criticize those that make the same mistakes over and over with no lesson learned in sight.

It goes without saying that no one can tell Rihanna what to do as far as reconciling with him on a relationship level. I can only say what I would do. In such a situation, I strongly believe in "forgive but don't forget". While I am probably the worst person to say this since I have grudge issues myself, if it were me, I would probably forgive Chris and accept his apology...........but I would not reconcile to be his girlfriend again. Again, this is just me, my personal views. At the end of the day though, everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves a "second chance at life". He just won't be getting a second chance as my man.

I think that some people truly tend to forget that these celebs are humans first before they are celebrities. It goes without saying that Chris Brown did something HORRIBLE. He SHOULD be reprimanded, fined, and punished. However, I also don't believe that his one infraction should cause a permanently tatted Scarlet Letter to be drawn on his chest forever labeling him a "horrible person". If the tables were turned and you were Chris Brown, wouldnt you think you deserved a second chance?

I've never been a purchaser of any of his albums but I do enjoy his music. I do hope that he receives the help that he needs (I hope that BOTH of them receive the help that they need because for both of them, things are far more than what we see on the surface, psychologically) and somehow puts this behind him.

While watching the interview, in between laughing at his bow tie (really though--a BOW TIE?! smh), the compassion in me kicked into high gear and I couldn't help but really hope for the best for him. I can't and won't write him off yet. I just hope that when he does come back, he is a better person both inside and out.

Here is the clip of the show in case you missed it:




Ms_Slim

One In A Million...

It feels like it's been a lifetime since I've been on any of my blogspots (the other one is here - clickie). I've just been SO busy, it's quite ridiculously and really obnoxiously unreal. I'm never sleep. Always awake. Always out and about. Always always. Always.

So now I'm on my lunchbreak at work. Figured I get a blog up and it dawns on me....today is Aaliyah's 8th year anniversary of her death. I know yall see her to the right of this blog. She was one of my favorite artists of the 90s in whole because I related to EACH song in her "One In a Million" album and also because she was one of the best dancers this side of Debbie Allen. Her style was also pretty unmatched and of course I copied (hence the Wrap I rocked non-stop for YEARS, side-swooped over the (right) eye included) I definitely learned a lot from her (dance-wise, style wise).

So without further adieu, I present all of my favorite videos from Aaliyah. Enjoy. Here we go:



Are You That Somebody



My cousin and I learned this dance fast as it came out. I STILL remember it. Anytime I'm bumping this song in the speakers of my car, I act out the hand parts of the dance moves lol

One In A Million



I LOVE this song. To this day. It's just got a really serene feel to it....and doesnt everyone have that "one in a million"? Maybe that'll be a blog for me...hmmm.....

4 Page Letter



This is one of my favorite songs of all time. Has anyone written their crush or the person they are dating a letter to tell them they want "more"? *whispers* I have lol (I told yall I relate to the ENTIRE "One In A Million" album) lol. Oh yea...I know this entire dance too :)


Hot Like Fire



Back when Missy, Timbaland, and (Magoo) was putting music on the map! (Okay, 86 Magoo,lol...but you get the point)


Rock The Boat



The video that Aaliyah was doing just before she was killed. I swear I lost my ever-lovin' mind when she passed. I made it a point to learn this dance. And I did. Of course.

Back and Forth



I think this was the first video I saw from Aaliyah. I LOVED it! And the "Back and Forth" became what was Ciara's "1,2 Step". She was the first....for Ciara and others. #fact - I had a (very minor and short-lived) tomboy era going on with me a little after this video. Wearing "boy clothes" was the style back then though. My sister was THEE tomboy. Ask her to recall though and she'd act like she didnt know what you were talking about lol

At Your Best (You Are Lov) Remix w/RKelly

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3twe0D3o5P4

I'm pretty upset that the coding is embedded for this video on YouTube. When I get some time, I'll look to another video site for it. But this link will have to do til then.

Anyway...I LOVE this song! And the video was hot too, no? RKelly's presence nonwithstanding, this song goes hard. Much like One in a Million, you can just relax and reminisce with this song. Loves it!

If Your Girl Only Knew



One of my favorite parts of this video was the eye color changes. It's no surprise that I can relate to the song either. (Remember what I said about the album itself? Yes this is on One In A Million for those that are unsure) lol


The One I Gave My Heart To



Love this song. Somehow the video version is a little different from the album version but I love both just the same. For me, the symbolism behind the video is...she's looking in the mirror singing the lyrics as if to say, "how could he hurt me like this? Is it ME--something wrong with ME?!" I feel like that's a natural reaction with a really deep heartbreak.


Try Again




Another video I learned from beginning to end. I also loved her hair color. Just never duplicated. At the time,I was scared of coloring my hair. In 2005, I was no longer "scared" and put highlighted streaks in...and from that experience, I learned...no more color! lol



Those are my favorite Aaliyah videos. Feel free to add yours, plus a little story as to why it's yours :)

Revelation: Pride

My name is "Ms_Slim" and I am very prideful.

Sure I know that this is one of the "Seven Deadly Sins", but there are times where I can not help this aspect of my being. Heck, there are times I am so wrapped in what I am doing that I do not realize the grand toll my pride has taken on a particular situation or environment that I am in.

But over the last few weeks, I have noticed the magnitude of which my pride tends to reign supreme....and subsequently come crashing down as a result.

And when it crashed, by golly it crashes. Hard.

Now? I'm kinda humbled. And it's only because I had to humble myself for the "greater good". At the end of the day though, I am still pretty prideful. I'm still too proud to ask for help when I really REALLY need it. I'm still too proud to admit my shortcoming to the world. I am still too proud to admit that in a particular situation, I was wrong....(but I wasn't the only one wrong). I'm still too proud to utter my true feelings out of fear (yes, I am still in a certain amount of fear; not the degree as before but in fear nonetheless)

However, half of the battle in all of this is the recognition, right? The acknowledgment of such obstacles, no? Though I'm "still too proud", the fact that I've admitted these things is a step in the right direction, right? I'm recognizing that I need to work on asking for help because no one is perfect. I'm admitting that I have a shortcoming, though I am not comfy or rather---"too proud"--to share it with the world. I admit that in that particular situation, I was (partly) wrong, even though I never admitted it to the person involved. I admit that I still have work to do. As does anyone else.

Some time ago, I'd never admit these things, in my head or aloud. I think I've made some progress.

I miss my granddad. Today would be his 84th birthday. Today is a reflective day for me.

fin.

sidenote: When I tried looking for a pic to accompany this blog via Google Images, how come all that came up was Gay Pride pics? smh. I am not the one. No pic for this blog I suppose.

AHNS: Counter-Opinion

The SLH is at it again. I had him read the John Mayer post and he profusely disagreed with his stance. Here is the discussion between him and I. Enjoy.





SLH: Interesting quote
But you're not gonna like my response

me: LOL You’re usually on a different plane as far as everything goes anyway, so I’m not surprised

SLH: I think he's complicating life. Why use 64 colors when you can make whatever color blend necessary with 8. If you go out and buy a small fast sports car for speed, a minivan for size, a 2 ton truck for power and a motorcycle for quick maneuverability, you're (in my opinion) overstocking yourself when all you needed was a Kia Sophia to get you to and from A to B. Searching for that perfect magenta is like looking at a single tree in a forest and wondering why it's not to your liking

me: of course I disagree. John Mayer is talkin bout personal growth. Why limit your growth when u know there’s more growing to do? Why just be satisfied with where u are when u know u can ALWAYS improve

SLH: cause some people can get things done with what they're born with (8 crayons with no sharpener) and rather create than build their arsenal of colors

me: even now youre doing more, with everything you do in your life and the risks you’ve taken to advance yourself. There’s always room to grow. Yes there are those that do well with the 8. They can use the blue and green and white and create cerulean. But there are others that only seee blue and are stuck in that one color


SLH: right but i'm not sitting back saving up all of my money and saying 'one day i'll be ready to buy a house and a camera and find a job' I'm doing things along the way…some I succeed at, some I fail at, but sitting back complaining 'this doesn't feel right' would never get me anywhere

me: THATS what im talkin about. The immobile, not the ones making out what they can with what they have and sitting back and complaining is stupid. ACTION is what im on lol

SLH: but that's what mayer does in the quote. He’s complaining and letting a fine purple walk away cuz she's not on the same level as what he expects. Searching for a 64 pack is a good way to end up unsatisfied and friendless

me: I think you’re reading too much into the quote. You’re talking about accepting people for who they are. I’m not talking about that at all. I’m talking about people limiting themselves from their potential

SLH: but who are you (or john) to say someone's purple should be a magenta

me: not looking "beyond their life's lens" and only seeing one side to their life but not making any progress

SLH: if they work wonders with their purple lifestyle rock on

me: sigh
if they work wonders in purple, then they arent purple. They are magenta

SLH: hahaha. That makes no sense


SLH: This is similar to a talk I had with my dad about teaching. He considers it a waste of my life to want to teach because I have so much potential. He said with my degree and creativity it would be a waste to be in a classroom with some kids who don't give a damn. To me... that's john mayer telling me my purple sucks and I should want to be a Renaissance man about town wowwing the masses. But if I want to teach and I'm good at it in my own opinion... then rock on I shall

me: LOL!!! Well I'm clearly looking at it w/in the realm of limited thinking whereas you’re on some "but if I’m purple, why cant I just take the purple and add a lil black and make magenta?" If you read the whole thing you’ll see I said, "How is purple all you see when sitting next to you there's blue and red and next to them orange and green? And on the ends there's black and white? And when you meet new people and do new things, there's a wide array of ciruleans and mahogoney's abounds? How are you comfy with "just being purple"?" Meaning people that ONLY see one lane of sight.

SLH: key words in your last line 'you' and 'comfy'. If someone's comfortable with themselves... rock on

me: I just feel like everyone should go for their potential and u do too

SLH: That's a different argument. I agree with that too but if their potential is the way they're going and you see them and say 'hey, you should be going that direction!' that's odd to me. They can shine their brightest with their boring purple, why ask them to be something different

me: no I'd never tell a person where they should be going, but if they are say.....good at drawing right? And then they go to an art school--excel and blah blah, then get offered a job like Michaelangelou and they don’t take it, that’s odd. That’s not reaching your potential, that’s wasting time. Like-- why go to school and be an art major only to turn down a top job you seemed to have always wanted?

SLH: ok, hold that thought and think back. Has anyone ever told you 'you should be a professional writer/actress/athlete/model/wrestler! you're so good at it!' and you knew they were speaking out of kindness but you just knew it wasn't where you were headed?

Me: Yes

SLH: Now put yourself into the purple position and imagine that person who suggested that considered you a waste of potential for not agreeing

me: I mean....I’ve had people tell me to do this and that but it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life; modeling is a hobby for me and nothing I see myself doing for my LIFE but yes I’ve had people tell me "you should do THIS with your life". But if I were to act like that’s what I wanted to do with myself and then get offered a spot on ANTM, turn around and win get a contract and when I’m supposed to sign it I go, “I don’t wanna do this for my life", that doesn’t make sense.


SLH: So that artist might not wish to be the Mchaelangelo of her/his time. Nothing wrong with that.

me: I’m saying....people that aim for a goal shouldn’t stop at a certain point when they put all their effort or energy into it

SLH: He doesn't mention anything about a goal

me: Like...why go out for American Idol if you don’t wanna be on the show and win?

SLH: He just mentions someone on a different path than himself

me: Well im talkin bout goals

SLH: He says 'they're doing their purple thing'

me: I took it somewhere else

SLH: they're not idle--sitting back doing nothing

me: You’re right. I took it up a notch. I mean do u still disagree with where I'm coming from though?

SLH: I disagree with the quote in general, not so much your take on goals



**I wish I could color-code my blog so you could get a better distinction of who says what; I have no clue what happened to that feature. Does anyone know? :-/