02 October 2008

Superhero at the Polls

Early voting has already started here in Chicago. I seriously have been considering voting already and getting it over with. After all, I have a strong feeling that this season's voting quarters and polling houses will be filled to the brim with folk coming out of the woodwork to be a part of history. (And this election season will be a monumental one by far. No doubt about it) I have a vision that folk will be coming out in their Sunday's Best, their Wednesday's Worst, and their beloved corners of Heaven and Hell to add in their vote for change in the economy which has been on its absolute worst behavior for the last 8 years. Any vote to whip this country back into tip-top shape, stand and say, "Aye!"

I can be a very standoffish kind of person at times. Actually, allow me to rephrase. I can be a very standoffish person for the most part….most times. It's not that I don't like people. I actually like people….for the most part. It 's just that I have no patience. People in general tend to like to drag their feet on their time and since we as a whole are selfish by nature, these feet draggers act like the world revolves around them. They are the worst! And will be up and through the depths of the every orifice and corner of polling places everywhere. I don't have time to wait for anything in this life. I was birthed early (was supposed to arrive October 11th instead of September 24th because I just couldn't wait a minute longer for the world to grace my presence), I graduated early from undergrad, my hair even grows at the speed of light (I seemingly can't hold a style for anything in this world; it can't wait to grow). Nothing in me can just wait up. I've made my decision about this election way back when we were in the Primary Season. Why wait til November 4th to hear the same issues drilled over and over, right? Right.

However, for me, there is just one thing that stands in the way of my dream of getting it over with and carrying on about other important matters of life……..like the rainforest, the problem with the ozone layer, or what's more close to home….my fall shopping that I still haven't found time to do.

What's standing in your way?, you ask?

Well, four years ago, I voted when I was 19. It was another crucial election period but more so on the "anybody but Bush" scale. As I told a friend, I honestly would have voted for the guy that runs the corner store who I don't know from Adam if he had run against Bush. I hate Bush that much.

So yes, I voted. But when I voted, I wasn't in my beloved hometown of Chicago at all. Instead, I was in the town of my alma mater, Quincy University. For that reason, I am registered in Quincy, Illinois--not Chicago. For about a month now, I have been trying with no avail to change my voter's registration card to read my permanent address here in Chicago. I'm quite frustrated that I've gotten nowhere. I'm more frustrated because I can just foresee the lengthy line which will probably be scaling the perimeter of any polling place in the state, both horizontally and vertically like Spiderman. I see this happening. I can see my headache forming now. I have no patience.

So since it's looking like I absolutely have to wait until November 4th to vote, something tells me that I may just jump out of body with my impatience, grow some instant super human strength, and push pass the voters awaiting their turns calmly to fill in the "Obama, Barack" bubble (I mean what other reasonable option is there? McCain?! That's hilarious!), and resume their lives of perceived normalcy. Meanwhile, I'll come from the back of the line and use the power of telepathy (because I'm too tiny to realistically bully anyone into moving outta my way; the point is to be as realistic as possible here) and make everyone step to the side from the left and right and part themselves reminiscent to how Moses parted the Red Sea.

(I've been to compared to my homegirl Psylocke twice very recently. This pic is hot of her, no?)

And I'll walk on by while the line of hundreds look off in a daze as their memory is temporarily frozen while I go and cast my vote…for Obama, Barack, naturally… and walk off like nothing unusual just happened. I promise not to forget to unfreeze their minds and restore their brains after my vote is cast. I just don't want to wait in line. Line waiting is for the birds. And though I'm fly, I'm a swan. I don't have to fly to be seen. Beautiful by nature, that's me.

I'll have the power of Piper in Charmed on November 4th.

Just call me SuperSlim. On November 4th, that is.


Assertive Wit said...

Psylocke was one of my least favorite X-Men. There is my comment. Bwhahahhahha

Ms_Slim said...

Psylocke was tight. Hater.

Ah well, there's a rotten banana in every bunch, eh? LOL

Keith said...

I plan to early vote here in NC.