19 May 2010

Something In the Water?

I've been sick as a dog since Sunday and I've just returned to work this morning. The symptoms I had ranged from extreme light sensitivity, leaving me unable to drive much less go out the house to nausea to dizziness whenever I stood for longer than 5 seconds. This was weird.

Yesterday, reluctant to call off work another day, I tried getting dressed for work. I showered and began to lotion. Got up to reach for my body spray and....damn near fell over from dizziness because the time I had to stand to grab it and sit back down to finish my routine was apparently too long. What in the Hell was wrong with me?!

Because I hate going to the doctor, I began to self-diagnose and listen to other opinions. Anything to keep me from issuing my health insurance card, waiting in a waiting room for a million hours, getting picked and prodded at, and sent unnecessary "necessary" tests "just to make sure all the boxes are checked" which in turn run my pockets to ground even after insurance pays their part, right? I got opinons ranging from having "vertigo" to being pregnant (this I did not find amusing one bit). I even reasoned with myself on Monday night that I had endured a mental breakdown of some sort. I've been so stressed that this sounded like a probable reason for my sudden illness. Plus, aside from becoming hoarse twice a year and the occasional issues I have with my hypoglycemia, I've never really been sick. Something was wrong with me indeed.

My stubborness began to fade and my guy finally took me to the Urgent Care to get the official diagnosis. After waiting for what seemed like IONS (literally) and being issued a CT scan because my massive headache and other symptoms had gone on continuously for three days, it was founded that I had an extreme migraine coupled with a sinus infection. I've never in my life had a sinus issue but my guy smokes so I gather this is where its root formed. I received my meds and went home. Boy I hate the doc though. That wait was ridiculous.

Later on in the day, my guy got sick. And by sick, I mean "head banging suddenly during the Celts game and curling in my lap in the fetal position in front of his boys" type sick. His sinuses started acting up as well. Plus he had oddly sudden flu symptoms. All of this happened in about 30 minutes time.

And now, while at work, one of my coworkers just called off. His sinuses have him begging for mercy. My manager's kids are both sick with the same issues...and they don't live in the same house at all.

I'm inclined to believe that there's something in the water. Though I understand it's "Spring Season" which is an easy translation for "Sick Season" due to the changing and variant temperatures between winter and summer (especially in Chicago; our weather here is definitely Manic Depressive, no jokes), the fact that everyone is getting sick doesnt shock me as much as it alarms me a bit more than it has in past years and times. I just want to stress the importance of taking simple health measures to ensure your health and prevent sickness that seems to be spreading like wildfire.

1. Wash your hands repeatedly - When I was younger I used to be a little OCD with this practice, always washing my hands repeatedly. I dont even recall why I was this way or even when it began to fade to a normal level, but Im sure this helped to contribute to my being relatively healthy for majority of my life too. Anyway, washing before using the bathroom as well as after helps to prevent germs from spreading both to yourself as well as your own germs spreading onto others. And if youre like me and deal with customers all day, you'll see how this very practice is just as important as any other.

2. Water - Now this is something I have to work on myself but....water really is the best medicine this season. I mean hydration is important and not only does water hydrate you but it replenishes and helps to restore a weakened system infected with things like sinus issues and the like. Ive been drinking bottle after bottle of water lately and I am not used to this. I know I said Ive been healthy my whole life but....water has never been a big thing for me. While in high school I HAD to drink it as I was a member of cross country, track and dance, but as a general rule? Nope. As Ive gotten older though, Ive learned that without it, my system is going.to.crumble. Period.

3. Sleep - I talk about my own issues I've had with sleep, which have, as recently as January of this year, just started to normalize and stablize. Sleep is so important.

4. Raw Fruits and Veggies - Since I hate docs and meds with a PASSION!!!, Ive always gotten into the practice of eating raw fruits and vegetables. And not even just because I hate doctors and medications, but also because they are freaking delicious! Ive never been a huge junk food snacker, but Ive always been a snacker! Ive been conditioned since I was little to eat "healthy food", and not even really realize it. I'd eat carrot and celery sticks, apple slices (with no PB), fruit bowls and veggie trays. Mommy made these ALL the time. And now? I only eat chips, cakes and the like when I am absolutely STARVING with no other options. I tell no tales. This is truth. Raw fruits and veggies are medications for the future which means, this is probably why Ive never been sick as well.

That's all I have time to share though. I just felt I needed to tell this tale of illness and the precautions that are easily missed but deemed necessary. We cant take advantage of this body and though its the Season of Sick, that doesnt mean we have to flow with THAT tide.


10 May 2010

Feelings Schmeelings - May

I saw this post over on one more the blogs I secretly read. And by "secretly", I don't mean "stalking", but rather...I read and go on, rarely comment, if ever. Anyway, I read the blog and thought it was simple enough for me to knock out as a post of my own. So here goes a list of things that for the month of May (so far), I'm "feeling/not feeling". Just a way to sort through the clusterfuck that has become my Life. Enjoy.

-All chocolate everything! I have a serious obsession with chocolate at certain times. This is a constant, but needed to be added.
- The prospects of my immediate future. All circumstances aside, the $ I need will be accessible to me.
-poetry sets and readings. Grab a margarita and sit back and enjoy the show while real poets spit
-a guilty pleasure (we all have them; I just happen to have too many, maybe)
-The weather we're currently having in Chi the past couple of days. We've finally got it right! Let's keep it that way.
-Spring polish. Summer polish. Nail art pens.
-Kisses from and on the lips I adore. Kissing is such a wonderful exercise! Muah!

-My current job. This is not a secret to anyone that knows me. Hate is not (the good enough) word. At all.
-The lingering depression Ive been feeling lately. It's left me uncomfy and insecure at times where I'd otherwise be my normal self. This? Not cool.
-The usual: annoyingly loud females, liars, nosey people....etc
-This current identity crisis. I know who I am and where I wanna be. Just the "right now" portion of the process has left me stuck because I've sort of lost myself in the hustle and bustle of trying to satisfy what society has deemed "most important" (bills and the American Dream that's associated with having a piece of mind, rather than exploring without a care and just centering in on my happiness. Trust that that will change)
-The mouse (who I've named Chuck E) in my house that's made its way DEEP into my psyche. Im currently at the library typing this right now in a desperate attempt to NOT be at home. iCant with rodents. But alas....I'll continue those tales of the rodent tail in another blog. Maybe.

05 May 2010

Revelation: Forgiveness

"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea" -Micah 7:18-19

Forgiveness? I don't really do that. In fact, I've been known to cut a person out of my life completely before ever thinking about forgiving them for a wrong. In my mind, it is easier to completely remove myself from caring about said person (because the "situation" or "wrongdoing" is connected to them), than to use all of my physical and mental (and sometimes spiritual) energy getting angry and actually emoting. I'd just get angry briefly and decide that it's easier to have them not in my life anymore especially if the drama/situation/wrongdoing is, in fact, extremely stressful in one way or another.

But as I get older, I find...the method of me solving an issue by not solving it at all just doesnt work as effectively. You can't cut everyone out who does you wrong. Not only does that make for more complications in the long haul (what irony, right?), but it also doesnt promote any kind of growth or maturity within my person.

So I'm consciously working on my forgiving.

Now don't get me wrong. This is not to say that whenever anyone mistreats me, I never speak to them again. That is completely unrealistic. I'm just saying that because I consciously work to eliminate any stressors from my life that I can control, if a situation/person/etc is doing THAT much "damage" to my cipher, I quickly decide that I dont need them anymore. At all. And quiet as kept, they are removed. Permanently. I don't really forgive.

Now don't get me wrong (again). This is also not to say that EVERYTHING is eligible for the "you're forgiven and all is well" treatment. It is not and baby steps are definitely what I am on. At the end of the day, sometimes it really IS better to just leave a situation or a person completely and have nothing to do with them anymore because said "damage" is just too grave. I understand this. Maybe some others dont. Maybe more do. But for ME...this is what works.

I recognize that I need to work on this. And that is the first step.

"Forgiveness. I will work on this."

Even saying it rings a little strange. It's all a part of the "bigger picture" for me though. My growth, mentally and spiritually, is the driving force behind my wanting to change things up a bit. It isn't going to be easy, but I've gotta learn to think..."what if the tables were turned, would I want to be forgiven?" Im nowhere near perfection and at times it feels as though my flaws capitalize on everything that's "right" with me. With all that said, I'm getting a better understanding of the perspective of others and this...is what is helping me in everything that I do in regards to this revelation. It is what is essential for growth.

ps; I promise a "less blue"-esque post next! Getting kinda tired of the gray myself!

04 May 2010

Return with a Review!!!

*opens door slowly and peeks around corner* Yall there? I wouldnt be too surprised if anyone left. Afterall, I have been flaky on my postings (both here and there) for quite a while. For now though and in this moment, Im here! Yay!

So while I was on hiatus, I received a sudden and extremely unexpected email from Jewelry Art Designs [dot] com asking me to try a complimentary item off of their website and review it on my blog. I remember reading it to myself and thinking, "where did this come from? Is this a joke?!" I figured it HAD to be because well....though I do display a few bits of beauty here and there on my blog (as well as having been featured on a few beauty and nail blogs a few times)along with other stuff like ya know...politics, love, music, and things like that, my blog is typically NOT a fashion one. Not in the least. But then I thought..."Free jewelry annnd I get to blog about it with links and exposure for both the blog and their site as well?" I almost jumped at the chance. I say "almost" because I figured if I accepted their gracious offer (go look at the website to see what I mean; the jewelry is pretty nice), one: there's a chance I'd be doing them a disservice because I knew it would take me a while to post on the jewelry (Life is really kicking up for me, not like that's anything new, but still...) and two....what if I didnt like their products and they were counting on me to shoot up a review? I'm definitely a "tell it like it is" type of person but honestly, how can I post a review if I didnt like their product AND I got it for the free? #ImJustSaying....these are the things I consider when someone asks me their HONEST opinion. I am too honest at times....

I admit that Im a bit overanalytical but I finally decided, 'why not?'....And so I did and......
I was pleasantly surprised! I absolutely LOVE pearls, so from the site, I decided to order the Pearl Drop Dangle Earrings. After placing my order and having them shipped to my company, I was happy to receive my product when promised (within 3-5 days). +5 cool points for being prompt from me!

When I opened the initial shipping box, here's what lay before me:

(a small velvet box that holds my earrings. Really nice!)


(Cute, yes?)

About the Company: The online jewelry store is called, "Jewelry by LuShae" nd is an up and coming jewelry store. They've actually asked a lot of bloggers for their opinions on an item of their choice for them to review. The site hosts a wide range of earrings, necklaces, penants and rings (including promise rings) of multiple facets, types, shapes and sizes from the dangling earrings you see on this blog to more subtle types like studs and hoops of various sizes.

Good For: Mother's Day is in just a few days. Why not make an impromptu order from the site to get her a Purple Brilliance silver penant or some Gold Hoop Earrings coupled with a Modern Mesh Cuff?

The Service: Everything I did with my transaction with this company was interacted via email. I conversed with the "associate" (not really sure if she wants her name exposed on my site), and told her when I'd be ordering, went onto the site and placed my complimentary order and emailed her when said order was placed detailing her what my order entailed just in case she wasnt sure exactly WHICH order was mine. The exchanges were and are always pleasant. And even when I had been "dragging my feet" on a review because of my hiatus, she understood and knew that I wouldnt let her or the company down. Not to mention, my order was very prompt and on-time just as promised! The Service? A-plus!

To Order: Just go to their website, browse, and order. It's that simple. The pricing is affordable and realistic for modern jewelry and you won't be disappointed. Trust me. I am the most critical person I know. Mark my word--you'll be satisfied!

06 April 2010

I'm Alive, but still on...Hiatus...

"My Soul's been moved and danced upon and picked and prodded and questioned and evaluated and hypothesized and experimentized....." (c) Me


I'll be back here in May.

Til then......this is where I am: HERE!



17 February 2010


In the recesses of my mind, I sit and think. Think and sit. Then act. And reflect. Then make changes if needed. This is the order of my processes---of my stream of recessed consciousness.

I think about where I am, where my current path is headed where I wanna be and what routes in my path need to be diverted changed or altered to get me to my desired destination. I reflect on the accomplishments I have, the credentials on my resume, and my collective hard work I've put in over a period of years and do a mental cross analysis of where that work and effort has landed me in present-day. I must admit that in the recesses of my mind I can get a bit discouraged and outright frustrated at times. I must remember that no one said the road on Life Blvd was a smooth one. Rather, its bumpt and filled with mass construction at certain intersections which causes some pretty heavy bumper-to-bumper traffic. Sometimes traffic is light and sometimes you'll come upon random pedestrians trying to divert you off your path by selling goods while you're at a stop light or even walking directly w/in your line of sight. And with that, sometimes there's an accident of the detrimental variety and other times the accident is a blessing in disguise. Whatever the case, the path is unpredictable and uninhibited entirely. What doesn't change is the fact that you're behind the wheel and at the end of the day, its you that's in charge of your destination, no one else.

I've digressed completely. Well....sorta.

I'm in charge of my path and in times of frustration, sitting, thinking, acting, and reflecting all in the recesses of my mind, I realize that its up to no one but my own person to change my path (or alter it in some way) to get to my desired destination....

25 January 2010

Revelation: Faith

*I know I've been gone for months on end. A ton of stuff has happenedleaving me with much more responsibilities and priorities under mybelt than I ever bargained for within the last 4 months. Life....*

But let's talk about Faith. And me.


I've got it. But I question it very often. I believe it. But for me,I've always struggled with the concept of "complete blind faith". It didn't make sense to me (but I guess that's the point--the "testing of faith"), and I'm at an age and mental state where things have to make relative "sense" otherwise.....I just don't deal with it. I admit Ihave low patience.

But its different with Faith....

I look at my tat and realize its representation. From the symbol (an obviously foreign Japanese symbol of "Faith"), to the color (deepblack on my marginally caramel skintone) to the size (rather small butvery visible) to its location (top right corner of my chestbone) and even the fact that its a permanently sewn emblem to begin with, "Faith" is a thing I am constantly trying to understand. At the same token, thru the depths of my own questions and outright misunderstanding also lies a very real truth that Faith is in me permanently. I've got it. I do believe. I recognize it, but I have to practice it in order to have it even a little bit "perfect"...whateverthat means.

Growing up, while church was a "big deal", having a faith and believing was an even "bigger" and more important topic of discussion. Depending on which member of my family you are talking to, the concepts of faith tend to vary (going to church every Sunday and dressing up meant your faith was huge to some, while for others faith was rooted wholely in a belief, not relying on church attendance as a determinant of faith strength). As I got older,I made my own path. Deep down inside, I always felt that my brain was too advanced to follow anything blindly. Not that I'm "too smart for God" or anything even close to that, but rather that...I've got too many"unanswerable" questions. And the set up of church often irritates me. Its in my nature to question what doesn't add up to me and w/religion, I often feel I can't ask those questions without a ridiculous and unsettling debate, so for me its..."l'm a Believer. Of God and Christ". And leave it at that. I'm content with that. I believe in going to church and worshipping but I don't go every Sunday nor do I feel I have to. The bigger picture for me is doing right by others and making sure that I keep to the "Higher Power" that I know exists, even though I question Him (and myself) silently at times. I pray, but I admit that I could do it more often...but so far I haven't and I dont.

The extent of my Faith has been tested repeatedly as of late--most especially within the last 4 months. I realize I never lost it because when in doubt, it was God I called on to help me thru whatever trial and tribulation I was faced with at the time. Faith has humbled me greatly while still keeping me at an above-average level of confidence. And thru all of this, I'm proud to say I'm currently the happiest I've been in a very long time...

All due to Faith....