Feelings Schmeelings - May

I saw this post over on one more the blogs I secretly read. And by "secretly", I don't mean "stalking", but rather...I read and go on, rarely comment, if ever. Anyway, I read the blog and thought it was simple enough for me to knock out as a post of my own. So here goes a list of things that for the month of May (so far), I'm "feeling/not feeling". Just a way to sort through the clusterfuck that has become my Life. Enjoy.


FEELING:
-All chocolate everything! I have a serious obsession with chocolate at certain times. This is a constant, but needed to be added.
- The prospects of my immediate future. All circumstances aside, the $ I need will be accessible to me.
-poetry sets and readings. Grab a margarita and sit back and enjoy the show while real poets spit
-a guilty pleasure (we all have them; I just happen to have too many, maybe)
-The weather we're currently having in Chi the past couple of days. We've finally got it right! Let's keep it that way.
-Spring polish. Summer polish. Nail art pens.
-Kisses from and on the lips I adore. Kissing is such a wonderful exercise! Muah!



NOT FEELING:
-My current job. This is not a secret to anyone that knows me. Hate is not (the good enough) word. At all.
-The lingering depression Ive been feeling lately. It's left me uncomfy and insecure at times where I'd otherwise be my normal self. This? Not cool.
-The usual: annoyingly loud females, liars, nosey people....etc
-This current identity crisis. I know who I am and where I wanna be. Just the "right now" portion of the process has left me stuck because I've sort of lost myself in the hustle and bustle of trying to satisfy what society has deemed "most important" (bills and the American Dream that's associated with having a piece of mind, rather than exploring without a care and just centering in on my happiness. Trust that that will change)
-The mouse (who I've named Chuck E) in my house that's made its way DEEP into my psyche. Im currently at the library typing this right now in a desperate attempt to NOT be at home. iCant with rodents. But alas....I'll continue those tales of the rodent tail in another blog. Maybe.

Isn't it funny...

...how the ones we trust the most are the ones that can hurt us the most and the quickest...

...are also the ones we admire the most and tend to lean on with the most ease...

...and are also the ones whose opinions means the most...

...but at the end of it all, we still get the most tongue-tied, disconnected, discombombulated, confused and incoherent when we need them the most?



*I know I promised two more parts to the "Death of a Legend" series I started on Michael Jackson, but that moment has passed at present. I may pick up on it again soon. Or do it in more parts and segments*

...For Now...part 2

I'm still not writing. Still not 'here'. Still on 'hiatus from posting'. Still..........still? There's still a lot going on and in the process of taking care of the things on my Life's plate, I sorta lost my writing mojo. Perhaps I'll find it soon.

Anyway, here's some pics/vids I like. Or just find......interesting. Enjoy.


1. May Essence Mag

2. From Yves Saint Laurent...

...I need. Too bad they're $950.00. No bueno.


3. Keri Hilson - Knock You Down video

Not late in the least. Just 'late' to blogger. But...I love Keri. Her style is dope (not to mention that short cut is hot on her and lightweight makes me not want to grow my hair out anymore because mine is exactly like this sans the highlights right now). Not a fan of Ne-Yo at all (corny, much?) ...so I don't think he was necessary.


4. Just when I thought that 'phase' was through...

Kanye Dance from SWAY Studio on Vimeo.

Through all the 'Ye is gay' whispering, I always defended. But this? iLaughed...but still.


5. Eminem - We Made You

I'm just glad he's back.



Alright. Fin.

Just Some Rambling...

...bear with me.

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. A lot more than usually. I’ve been ‘absent’, ‘missing’. I disappeared quiet as a church mouse and couldn’t be found by neither Facebook, MySpace, Twitter (don’t have a Twitter and don’t really see a point in getting one; I’m on my anti-Twitter roll right now. I will not cave!), Gmail, any of my emails, phone call, text, or even a house visit. I was just….gone.

And many folk took notice. One even got angry with the act I pulled…even though they were the only ones that actually knew why I decided to dip out on the world for a little over a week in the first place.

Fact is though, I just needed to isolate myself for a little while. Sort through some things by becoming a hermit of sorts, gather myself, and pretty much ‘start anew’ in a sense. I promised myself that I wouldn’t come back from my hiding place until I felt like a ‘new me’ and all the thoughts that have been weighing in on me for quite some time had simmered at least a bit.

And here I am. I’m still a little ‘missing’ but not as explicitly as before. I’m working on it….so work with me.

I can’t say that said thoughts have ‘simmered’ but in taking a new direction with Life, I’ve learned (while in my personal realm) that everything is taken with the ‘one day at a time’ mindset. I can’t do everything at once, but I can continue to live and live I shall do.

To those that have inquired about me, if I haven’t already contacted you or even if you inquired by way of a mutual friend that asked me themselves what the Hell was up with me, thank you for your concern. I am okay. Just been on a whole new level of ‘doing me’ lately. Side note: I have been known to disappear out of the blue if I don’t want to be bothered; this is just the first time that I’ve done it in such a restricted fashion and also the first time I’ve done it for this long. I will check emails a little later.

Continuing on…

Over this time, though, I haven’t stopped writing at all. I’ve written several posts…which shall get posted soon.

I miss one of my friends and they really need to call me soon. Or something.

My Valentine weekend was cool. Went to the movies and out to eat, visited some friends, and witnessed (by way of one of my best friends’ cell phone) a proposal over the span of both Saturday and Sunday. Pretty solid weekend. How was yours?

I’ve also been shopping to my heart’s discontent. Online, in the mall, at strip malls, everywhere. It’s been pretty ridiculous. That’s another blog I’ll share soon though.

The ChRihanna situation has been on my mind as well and I wrote on it. But I won’t be posting that rant. Why? Well because everyone has written on it and no one (nope not even the most popular bloggers of the Free World) know the whole situation. Though I’ve been guilty of it several times, I hate writing about something for which I have extremely little (factual) information on and then having to add a “well this is just based off what I’ve been reading from the media” as a disclaimer. Ugh. However, I will say this (and this does not just go for Chris & Rihanna but for anyone involved in domestic violence…something I know about from personal experience):

Domestic violence is not okay in any form…..if a man hits a woman for no reason, he is a coward and should definitely be punished. The same rule applies to women too, however. I feel like if a woman has the balls to hit a man like she’s a man, she doesn’t get a pass simply because she is a female. (Females can, in fact, hurt a male physically) If she hit him like she wanted to fight, she should be braced for said fight to take place. Period. Also anyone involved in a violent relationship should seek professional help immediately…both parties, not just the abuser.

I’ve been getting emails from unrecognizable gmail accounts. When curiosity kills the cat and I check said email, I find that it’s spam from MySpace. Here is one:

Note: The address that this came from was: JamarKingQW@gmail.com with the Subject Line saying, “You still interested in talking?”

Here is the message:

Hey,
Have not heard from you in awhile. You still single? I am back in the dating game.
I setup a new profile on a new site. If you are still intrested you should look me up
my MSN is jane.abernathy2185@hotmail.com
Hope to hear from you soon

1. I have not been on MySpace in Lord knows how long. The only reason I signed onto the sight in the past several months was to check my messages and because I didn’t know how to do video blogs in my blog on here. So I’d do them on MySpace and instead of hitting ‘Post’, I’d just copy and paste the blog onto blogger. Now that I know how to do them, I haven’t signed on at all. It’s been way over a week since I learned….

2. This ‘person’ used an email address that clearly makes it look like this is from a male (by the way: I have no clue who a ‘Jamar King’ is in the first place). Then the body of the email directs me to a whole different email address which leads me to believe that this is from a woman. Hmmm……no thanks. I’m straight. Literally. Figuratively. And definitely sexually.

3. Did MySpace really have to resort to this? I know they have been losing the battle to Facebook and Twitter but…..sigh…(and yes I know this is from MySpace because Ive gotten several other messages of this exact same format and they say, “…..saw your profile on MySpace” or something to that effect. (my profile is private, by the way). This was just the very last one I’ve gotten in my yahoo inbox.

Anyway, I think I'm coming down with something and I can't stop sneezing. Doesn't feel too hot.

I think that’s it.

For now.

Ms_Slim

Some Things I've Learned This Week

Some things I’ve Learned This Week:

People are really amazing sometimes. In both a good and bad way.

I love with my entire heart, rather than bits and pieces to be rationed and sorted and I can’t find a balance in it all (I kinda knew this already).

I’m much more patient than I thought I was.

I give great advice :)

I have the worst sleep disorder known to man when stressed. I think it’s so bad that the disorder hasn’t even been discovered yet. Ugh!

Some people will never understand, even when things are broken down to simplest form and no longer can be divided into simpler terms.

I am extremely dependent on my phone. I’ve been going through withdrawals since it broke on me Sunday night. I am sooooooo glad that my replacement phone is here now. sigh

You can’t make a person see right. Sometimes all they’ll ever see is “wrong”. There’s nothing to be done about it.

What have you learned this week?

Blog Name: Pics to Come--A Slew of Randomness

I love weekends. I'm usually busy beyond belief on the weekends, but I love them anyway. Why? Because I get to get a LOT of things done and still manage to find time to chill and cuddle underneath the book I'm working on for that moment, amist a bubble bath and some soothing sounds. Tranquility is my bestest of friends.

Last weekend, I admit, I did a lot, physically and mentally. On Friday, I went out to one of my FAVORITE restaurants in Chi—EXPOSURE!!! If you're ever in Chi city, I URGE you to check it out. Why? Plenty of reasons: It's easy to find, the food is great (small portions but good food), the drinks are fab, it's a tapas restaurant---don't we all love tapas?, it's money savvy and not heavy on the pockets at all, the atmosphere is splendid, it's perfect for every type of person, including the Reserved Rose, the Motormouth Mary, the Socialite Stacy, the Boring Bob, and the Sports Fantatic Steven, they make a mean Strawberry Mojito, there's outdoor eating and the inside is equally splendid, there's couches, barstools, tvs, music, and cushiony walls, valet is not only inexpensive but the drivers are soooo nice and relatable, you can converse with them for ever—they are awesome, annnnnnd the spot is Black-owned! What could be better?

(Brazilian Sangria from Exposure!)

(I also met up with this man right here! Hey, Randy!)

It's located at Wabash and 13^th (facing Wabash, of course). I guarantee that it's worth every penny and guess what? I plan to have my 23^rd birthday celebration there. I'm so in love with that place. We'll see how these plans go come the end of September though; I'm pretty sure that they won't change. I put my sister on it too and I convinced her to have her 26^th birthday celebration there as well, which is the end of this month (June 29^th). Pics to come!

So………..granny's 80^th is this Thursday and we're giving her a HUGE beyond HUGE birthday party on Saturday. Over 200 guests are expected to arrive, so when I say huge, I mean huuuge. It's located at a "Chateau" location (a place where weddings are held and such). I am an emcee for the event so this entire weekend pretty much went into the final preparation details for that end of the event. We're all pretty excited about it and within the next couple of days, I will get off the bs and buy a picture card for my camera (which I haven't broken down and purchased since I got the camera for Christmas 2006). So…pics to come!!!

Next Saturday is also my nephew's 5^th birthday party, which follows immediately after my grandmother's party. It is also the day of two of my friend's graduation BBQ. Can anyone imagine just how busy I will be? Can anyone imagine just how many pounds I will gain from all of this food? Take a guess! My guess is somewhere around 25 pounds….

Do you all remember the cut I ranted and raved about getting a few blogs ago? Well, turns out that when I actually went to get the cut, some things arose to which case my cousin ended up talking me out of getting it and I ended up getting my hair evened out from the asymmetrical dealie I had and shorter in the back. This was on the 16^th of May and it is now the 2nd of June and all of it has grown back. I'm beginning to think that my hair is a bit more than human. It's unreal!

Friday I will get the cut. Pics to come on that too!

The co-workers and I have configured a way to save money! A little background first: We got out to lunch just about every day at some restaurant. Wishbone here, Grand Lux Café there, etc. As a result, we easily spend 25 bucks a day on lunch. I for one, am tired of it. I ain't made of money. So, one of us spotted an article on Yahoo Finance last Thursday and decided to give it a shot:

For food (this includes the whole day: breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, whatever), we give ourselves a daily limit. Mine is 20 bucks a day. At the end of the day, if we've gone over our limit, we have to take whatever we went over and apply it to the next day (So, If I spend 25 dollars today, I only have 15 to spend for tomorrow). If we don't go over our limit and still have money left over, the remaining goes into our envelope (a real envelope that we stash for a month of accumulated savings). So if I only spend 15 dollars today, the remaining 5 goes into the envelope. And we have to put away 5 bucks away that is outside of our limit altogether.

So we'd have at least 35 dollars of savings per week. I think it's a good idea and it also shows restraint. Another thing we did here at the office was limit our lunch outings to two days per week (Monday and Friday); the other days we bring our own lunch. We start today. We'll see how this turns out…As of right now, I have 18 bucks to spend for the day; we're doing a Cantonese place and my meal is only 5 bucks!

My blogger site is getting attention. I haven't even really opened it up and told too many folks about it yet (except that one time when it was still under construction) but I've been posting on it ((mainly personal blogs that would never surface the Space) and it is open…I just don't wanna give out the site again just yet. I will though. Soon. However, despite that, I've been getting a good number of views on it. And no comments. Who's checking me out? Show yourself! Lol

I plan to tell the public about it again sometime this week. Stay tuned!