11 August 2009

Revelation: Pride

My name is "Ms_Slim" and I am very prideful.

Sure I know that this is one of the "Seven Deadly Sins", but there are times where I can not help this aspect of my being. Heck, there are times I am so wrapped in what I am doing that I do not realize the grand toll my pride has taken on a particular situation or environment that I am in.

But over the last few weeks, I have noticed the magnitude of which my pride tends to reign supreme....and subsequently come crashing down as a result.

And when it crashed, by golly it crashes. Hard.

Now? I'm kinda humbled. And it's only because I had to humble myself for the "greater good". At the end of the day though, I am still pretty prideful. I'm still too proud to ask for help when I really REALLY need it. I'm still too proud to admit my shortcoming to the world. I am still too proud to admit that in a particular situation, I was wrong....(but I wasn't the only one wrong). I'm still too proud to utter my true feelings out of fear (yes, I am still in a certain amount of fear; not the degree as before but in fear nonetheless)

However, half of the battle in all of this is the recognition, right? The acknowledgment of such obstacles, no? Though I'm "still too proud", the fact that I've admitted these things is a step in the right direction, right? I'm recognizing that I need to work on asking for help because no one is perfect. I'm admitting that I have a shortcoming, though I am not comfy or rather---"too proud"--to share it with the world. I admit that in that particular situation, I was (partly) wrong, even though I never admitted it to the person involved. I admit that I still have work to do. As does anyone else.

Some time ago, I'd never admit these things, in my head or aloud. I think I've made some progress.

I miss my granddad. Today would be his 84th birthday. Today is a reflective day for me.


sidenote: When I tried looking for a pic to accompany this blog via Google Images, how come all that came up was Gay Pride pics? smh. I am not the one. No pic for this blog I suppose.

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