30 June 2009

Death of a Legend: The Reaction

(This will be an ongoing post)

I sat around and mulled around trying to find the words. I was in denial for a day and a half, kept looking at his videos and listening to his music so heavily he was in my dreams and when I awoke, a different song of his would be in my head..... "Billy Jean"..."Leave Me Alone"...."Scream"....and "Smooth Criminal". I didn't "accept" it til Sunday. Then I said I'd write....because it's only right.


Every time I attempted to put pen to pad, I came up short. Like him, I'm a perfectionist to the nth degree. I wanted it to be right. I also know that I have too much in my head for just a lone blog.

But what do I say? Something other than "RIP" has to suffice. All perceived "dramatics" aside, I took his passing to the head, heart, and soul of me. Those who know me know that I took it nearly as hard as one of my own relatives passing. I was shocked, depressed, and sad. He has always been with me. I was heavily exposed to ALL of his works. Sure enough, I didn't know him personally, however with him being in the limelight for more than 90% of his life, I felt like I knew him. He was like a talented older brother to me. I looked up to him, even in his down and "crazy & strange" moments. I was loyal.

Then he was just........gone. No warning, no public knowledge of an illness. Nothing. So I denied, denied, denied. "It was a sick joke like they did with Jay-Z back then" is what I told myself. He wasn't even SICK! Who goes into cardiac arrest like that w/o being sick?! Who?! Yep yep...it was a fluke.

I didn't cry at all until Friday evening when I finally got the courage to look at the Chicago Sun-Times, which on its cover, displayed several pictures of his person and included what they had known so far of his very sudden death. That's when I let it out. But only for 5 minutes.

Then it settled in on me. And I began to accept it. Death is a part of life and life breeds death. This is stuff Ive told others when they lose a loved one. However, every time it happens to me, I take it another way initially.


Michael Joe Jackson
August 29th, 1958 - June 25th, 2009

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