Terrible (Negative) Twos...and Counting...

I really shouldn’t be surprised, but I am.

I’m a small (read: muy slim) chick. Because of that, I am always colder than everyone around me and I get cold much quicker than anyone else as well. So when I walked to my car this morning to have it warm up for a few minutes before I head out for work and walk back in the house only to find that my hands were practically frost-bitten through my insulated gloves, I thought it was just me...because it usually is. It wasn’t until I looked at the television before leaving work (GMA is what’s poppin in the mornings!) and find that at the time, it was twelve degrees. Twelve degrees is cold as (can I say “Hell” even though Hell is supposed to be um….Hot?)…IJS…Twelve degrees makes me wish I had hair now…

I digress…

It’s colder than it’s EVER been here in Chicago. How cold, you ask? I just looked at the Weather Bug thingy on my computer and……..it’s now negative two degrees outside. Negative two. Like two degrees below freezing.

I told y’all here that I hated winter, didn’t I? It’s really not the business.

As if that’s not bad enough, I was talking to a homie earlier who told me that he heard that it’s supposed to get to negative thirty out here. My thoughts?

How in the Hell is that even possible? Like is that even livable? I’m just saying…..negative thirty is worse than the Arctic, isn’t it? Can polar bears thrive through that comfortably? What about the Eskimos? Even still…..here in Chicago, there are no Eskimos, polar bears, or igloos in sight, meaning…….we don’t do that kind of cold. And apparently we haven’t since……..1996.

Sigh

It’s times like these where I really wish I forsaw myself moving to another, more warmer climate soon, instead of understanding and taking grip to the reality that I’ll be in Chicago for just a bit longer.

I love my city. Believe me, I do. But this cold stuff? This freezing stuff? This weeeeelllll below livable temperatures stuff? It’s not even for the birds. It’s for some other sucka. A sucka called an Eskimo. And we Chicaoans aint suckas.

Beat it, Cold. SCRAM!!!!!

(rant over)

Winter Wonkyland

Singing off-key like T-Baby, with my own little spin to it:

It’s so cooooold in the C…

It’s cold as a polar bear’s toenails here in Chicago. There’s just some sun and not as much wind that throws it off to make it look like a “good day” when in reality, we’re freezing something awful.

I hate winter.

I’ve blogged on this before. As a matter of fact, it seems as though every winter, I have a “Winter Hate” blog posted at some point. Last winter was THEE worst winter Chicago had seen since 1984…seriously. And this winter just doesn’t look like it’s going to be any better than last.

This past Monday was the first real snowfall here. And boy, did it fall. It fell so much and so thick, you’d have thought that it had been snowing for quite some time this year. Not so. It’s just the only one this year to actually stick. The official sign of Winter, no?

Now correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t winter supposed to “officially start” somewhere in the middle of December? I always thought so. Chicago is an area of four seasons and each season is supposed to last three whole months…supposedly. Spring starts March 21. Summer starts June 21^st. Fall starts Sept. 21……..and as my calculations come out, Winter ain’t supposed to be here til…..December 21^st. It came 20 days earlier this year. And I have a problem with that. A big problem.

I want to move.

I get in these moods every winter and every winter, I am reminded of the very real possibility that I may have S.A.D.*. You see, not only do I despise winter and everything about it, sans the holiday season, but my moods have a greater chance of changing and dropping…and staying “low” until Winter’s end. I’m more irritable, annoyed, and things tend to frustrate me a bit more easily. I am a very standoffish person most times and during the winter, it’s even worse.

So…I need to move.

Obviously a warm climate is better for me. But know what’s funny in this whole thing? I’ve lived in Chicago for about 98% of my life. You’d really think I was used to this winter nonsense by now, right? Wrong. Something in me just can’t get used to it and adapt as well as other folk. It’s crazy.

But just like everything else I go through or encounter, I analyzed this little factoid about myself to the very core. You see, I was born in Atlanta, Georgia. My mom had been living in Atlanta for about a year and a half before she became pregnant with me and since I was born in September (but was supposed to arrive in October), I figure the conception time and all that was around February…which furthermore means that while I was roasting in Atlanta and awaiting for my debut, the weather was awesome….for the most part. The last trimester (which is particularly important, by the way), was also encompassed by the warmth of summer. Furthermore, Atlanta doesn’t get much snow and they don’t really get “all four seasons” either. It’s a relatively warm area with colder temperatures during their “winter time” but nothing drastic at all. Nothing like how Chicago can get.

I think I formed to not be able to adapt to winter well before I hit this whole “Life” scene. It was in the cards all along. It all makes sense now.

On the flipside, I love Chicago. I’ve got Chi-Pride from here to Timbuktu. The best summers are in Chicago (Summertime Chi). There’s noooo city like MY city. I just can’t do this terrible traffic, lavish layers of clothing wearing, shameful snow shoveling, and immense ice and whirling winds and bustling blizzards and getting up a half hour or more early just so I can get the snow and ice off my car and warm it up so I don’t freeze to death while driving stuff at all. I’m not a morning person (remember) and furthermore, it’s just NOT me. It’s not.

(I can't do this bullshyt. I just CAINT!)

Na na na na

Wait til I get my money right

I’m getting a Winter house….in Miami.

Freezing my toes off,

Ms_Slim

*S.A.D. = Seasonal Affective Disorder, " A form of depression occurring at certain seasons of the year, especially when the individual has less exposure to sunlight." (as taken from: http://www.dictionary.com/SAD)