Things That I Just DON'T Understand

I don't claim to know everything at all but I know that there are a lot of things that I know I am well-versed on and there are also a lot of thins that just boggle my brain endlessly producing no result or conundrum of any sort.

What I don't understand:

1. Freakishly hot or cold weather.

I don't mean to question God or anything but….why the immense heat and no wind? Or the seventeen feet of snow with too much wind? It being too hot outside can cause heat strokes; it being too cold can cause a wide array of things that I am just uncomfortable with. I hate the cold and I'm sure that everyone knows that by now. I guess living in Chicago my whole life had no bearing to my adjustability level because when it is winter outside, I am still not used to that? Think something is wrong with me? I guess I'll never truly understand this "wonderful" phenomenon called whether. I do feel sorry for folks that live in the South or other areas where it is it immensely hot right now. Last week it was hot as hell (all puns intended lol) outside out here; I know it's crazy hot down there; I'm sorry y'all (apologizing for God and whatnot, smh)

2. Wedge-heeled shoes

It's not that I don't like them. They are just…..I don't know. Maybe I'm just not feeling them at all and probably wont ever fully like wedge heeled shoes, but…..if you're not wearing a stiletto or a distinct heel on your foot, you're not wearing heels. Period. No cheating!!!

3. Reality TV

First of all, I don't understand why it is called "reality TV" in the first place because it is far from real in any sense. There are ridiculous plots, "characters" played, storylines drawn, and even a few "do overs" when a scene isn't "done right". The only difference between reality TV and um….unreality TV is that there are fewer scenes cut in reality TV. This is a no-brainer. I still don't fully get it because reality TV is generally so……..wack! I mean from the obnoxious and seemingly never-ending seasons of Flavor of Love to it's spin off show, I Love New York and even to the dating shows like Farmer Needs a Wife, I personally just don't see a point. And because there are so many foolish forms of this type of television to view, I fear that in the next five years, that's all that will be displayed on our screens. No more Law & Order, Girlfriends, Wheel of Fortune. No more Jeopardy. No more "innocent entertainment". It'll all be replaced by evasive scenes by the coonery of Flava Flav sticking his disgustingly old and befangled tongue down some poor woman's throat whose only dream is to become a video girl in Snoop's next video in Flava of Love 27. Ugh!

The stuff is getting pretty bad, you all.

4. Egotistical men

(I just had a full explanation panned out but deleted it. Do I really need to explain it?)

5. Unnecessarily nosey people

My top pet peeves consist of: Ignorant people, Loud people, Liars and NOSEY people. That's not in order and I truly think that the nosey folks are at the top of my pet peeves list. At times I don't mind simply nosey people because some of those people, believe it or not, actually have some kind of right to know the inquiring information in regards to you, your life, etc. Fact is, you just don't want to share. You want to be evasive. That's fine. I'm the same way. However, unnecessarily nosey people? Those people that want to know your business for the sake of knowing your biz? Those folks that don't even have your best interests at heart, they just want or "need" to know all of this insane information that ordinary people wouldn't even care to know about. Those effers drive me INSANE!!!

6. Thong pads

I know a lot of my male readers are gonna cringe, but dammit if it aint the most mind boggling thing I've ever seen! Ok it isn't but……you get my point.

Ladies, talk with me. A thong pad. First of all, the thong doesn't cover the whole lower back portion of our bodies and the makers of Carefree have the nerve to make a pad for it?! Weird. What's weirder is the versions of said pad that are out. There's a regular maxi, a long maxi (ew 1 time), maxi with wings, extra long maxi, overnight, triple protection overnight…….(BLECH!)

Ladies, do y'all GET this? Cause I don't. I always thought that when that time of month came, we women HAVE to wear underwear. And I understand that there are women that only wear thongs (wait, no I don't get that either but anyway…..), but that's just gross, gross, GROSS! Ok lemme stop! Moving onto numero siete:

7. Lurkers

My page is private and for good reason. When I post something and see 91 views and like 6 comments, I'm all in my head like, "er, uh…yea…..I don't like that.". Keep in mind that I don't write for comments (but I definitely like them and adore them all the same) but seeing that many views and weighing out that comment to view ratio and seeing the differentials is mad weird feeling. Like despite the fact that my page is private and I damn near NEVER accept my friend requests, it'd be nice to know who dropped by. At least leave kudos! Por favor y muchos gracias!!!!

8. Music of Today

There are…….no words. Just know that I am highly dissatisfied. Ugh!

9. Fox News

In order to prevent the constant urge to cuss wildly, go around yelling and screaming and completely mimicking at least one of those there top pet peeves of mind, I'm just gonna say that I absolutely, and I mean AB-SO-EFFIN-LUUUTELY haaaaaaaaaaate Fox News!!!!

Anyone know why?

That's why! Dammit!

On Saturday, I saw my mom trimming the hedges for the first real time ever in her life. For this to be her first time doing such a thing, I was definitely proud of her and could see her doing that as some kind of side gig if she wanted to. Because I was so proud of my mom for crossing the invisible lines that improperly address the duties of men and women, I went, "good job, Ma" and positioned myself in a quick but admittedly corny hi-five stance. She looks at me quickly as she's still cutting and concentrating and goes, "no high five; gimme a terrorist fist bump". I fell out laughing. Mom can be so cool! Haha

To Fox News,

For real!

1. The RKelly Verdict

I had the whole weekend to sort out my emotions about the ridiculous "not guilty" verdict that freed Mr. Robert Kelly from 14 counts of child pornography last Friday. When I first heard, my initial reaction was to play it off as a joke. I mean, the verdict couldn't be right. It had to be a joke. When I found out it wasn't and then read reports on the verdict followed by supporters' comments, I got more angry; I can't explain it; it pissed me off!

Toldja said it best in her blog. I can't even speak on it anymore. I just……I can't. I'm too confused. Too angry. Too fed up with the American Justice System. I'm through. For real. Ugh!!!

(This guilty NIGGA got off on 14 counts of child pornography?!!! What is the world coming to? I guess now it's okay for a man to have sex with a little girl and ALSO video tape it as well as disrespect her FURTHER by peeing on her now, right? It's all good, now, huh? SMCH!)

What are some things that boggle your mind?

..

Thursday Thoughts: Six Years Legal

Ok first of all……GO CELTS!!!!

(Tune in TONITE!)

I just had to get that out of the way. Y'all understand.

I was supposed to post a pic blog yesterday of Granny's party, but after posting the entire album on facebook first, I realized that I did NOT feel like uploading many of those same pics to photobucket, grabbing the codes, and posting a separate blog here. That takes up too much time and yall know I'm only online when at work; I be havin work to do………(shut up, Ronnie lol)

Speaking of work, today marks the sixth year of me being an official member of the working class. Yea, it's just been six years. I'm only 22. Somehow, though, it feels a lot longer.

In 2002, I got my first job working for Marshalls clothing store. Is anyone unfamiliar with Marshalls? It's affiliated with T.J. Maxx, A.J. Wright, and HomeGoods. I got the job as a cashier when I was 16 and thought I was the Queen of the World. Weekly payday was always something that I looked forward to………..except for when my friends and I would converse about our individual jobs.

You see, this was my first paying job. My first legal job that made me "official". My mom had already briefed me for a few years about how taxes worked and even showed me her pay stubs at times to support the examples she gave on how people who work get paid, so when I got my first paycheck, I wasn't in shock nor did I debate about the three different types of tax that were taken out which would cut about fifty dollars out of my check each week.

But what I wasn't prepared for, what mommy never told me about, what I just couldn't shake….were the constant comparisons between my friends and I and our individual work places.

Anyone who has stepped foot in any Marshalls would know exactly what I am talking about when I say that there is WORK to be done in that joint. There's clothes everywhere all the time, customers are rude as hell, and it seems as though no matter which Marshalls store you go to, the management team collectively seems to suck because nothing is conveniently organized, resulting in a greater work load for the employees such as myself. I used to hate working the closing shifts because even though the store would close at 9:30 for the general pubic, we would spend an hour and a half in recovery every night. Strolling in the house at eleven o'clock at night when I started at two, only to have to work an opening shift (9am) the next day, was not the business……….especially since I only made………..5:50 an hour.

Yes, y'all hear/read right. Five dollars and fifty cents per hour in 2002!!!

(yea...just wishful thinking...)

Now when I was 16, a lot of my friends hadn't jumped on the employment bandwagon yet but the few that did made me so jealous. And as luck would have it, they all had jobs that I profusely turned away (I was arrogant like that and refused to work at specific establishments for one lame reason or another; y'all know how teenagers are lol).

One friend worked at HomeDepot and made ten bucks an hour easily. I could never see myself working there, what with me being so girly and all and always thought that the labor would drive me nuts and put an even deeper hurting on my back than I already endured (I had a slight case of scoliosis when I was in high school from cross-country and I provoked it even more when I became a member of the Varsity Dance Squad). When we talked about our paychecks, I couldn't believe that she made that much an hour! And I was pissed. Beyond pissed.

Another friend worked at CVS drug store. Now while this drugstore never caught my eye as a potential, I had an even harder time swallowing the fact that my girl made $8 bucks an hour to my damn 5.50 an hour. And the labor? Besides stacking some shelves and keeping their work area neat, there was virtually nothing outside of ringing customers! Yep yep. Pissed. Beyond pissed.

Another friend worked at McDonald's. Not only did I not want to work anywhere near food, but I refused to work at McD's because our high school sat right across the street from the one my friend worked and while it was convenient as far as commuting goes since he had no car, it was also difficult dealing with his tasks, his customers, and his friends…at 16 years old. Everyone wants a free handout. And he always gave in. Needless to say, said friend ended up losing their job. Annndd their seven dollars and twenty five cents to my measly ol' five dollars and fifty cents. I wasn't at all happy that he lost it for I could no longer get a hookup before heading to my job. So yes, I was pissed beyond pissed.

My friends used to rub their earnings in my face so badly. I was so angry. And not because of the amount that they made over mine but the amount of labor that I did to get those five dollars and fifty cents was virtually unmatched to their labor load. It infuriated me.

And what was worse? The discounts. Now a lot of people (lot of people being those that never had to work for Marshalls, Inc.) would say that I should be glad that I worked there because I got discounts on some pretty nice clothes. I got discounts, sure. But nothing like folks thought. My discount was ten percent with a twenty percent discount every three months for the start of the new quarter. Yea….it wasn't worth it. In fact, it sucked.

Some would say, "well why not get another job?" Well, this was my first job so I was incredibly wary about hopping onto another job so quickly. I wanted to establish some kind of work history. My senior year of high school (a year after starting at Marshalls), I applied at Sears, nailed the interview, and had plans to quit Marshalls. But I didn't. The managers loved me and wanted me to stay. So like a sucka, I did. I worked at both places at the same time. While still working at Marshalls, I received an "Employee of the Quarter" award as well as a promotion as the Layaway Coordinator.

But did that increase my doughage? Not. At. All. After my initial three-month evaluation and raise, the raise came every year thereafter. Lucky me went from $5.50. To $6.00. To $6.25. To $6.50.

When I reached the $6.50 mark, I was enraged. I was enraged not because of the amount but because in that exact year (now 2005), the minimum wage had gone from $5.50 to $6.50. So basically after three years of service, I was still making minimum wage.

Needless to say, I ended up quitting for good in August of 2005. Some people may find it foolish that I stayed that long and in some ways, they are right. I hated that place. But in 2004, I had graduated high school and had gone off to college. I was advised to keep my job so that I could have a job waiting whenever I got home. Searching for a job just for the summer or for leave of absences as I took for being a college student that was away from home was very difficult. And though I was literally making pennies, a lot of my friends that had those same wonderful jobs that were devoid labor for what seemed like awesome pay, had quit their jobs completely when they went off to school and couldn't find anything for the summer or other breaks home. So in the end……..I won! LOL

What was your first job? Did you like it? What were the perks, if any?

Thursday Thoughts: A Tribute To Granny!

Thursday Thoughts: A Tribute to Granny!!!

How has everyone's week been so far? Hope well. Mine has been pretty um…..up and down? I've recently been feeling incredibly down lately (depressive, even) and I couldn't shake it. Since Tuesday night, however, my slump sort of magically disappeared. Think Obama's win for the Democratic Nomination had anything to do with it? I think so.

So, today's TT blog is simply a tribute. A tribute to my granny, Mrs. Lillie Mae. Today she has made 80 years on this earth. I love her to death and she is literally like a mother to me. I was born in Atlanta, Georgia and came to Illinois when I was very small. Before my mother came home, I came to Illinois first and my grandmother took me in for a few months. When my mother came back to Illinois, she'd always say that she could hardly recognize me because my grandparents had fattened me up. My mom and I stayed with my grandparents until I was nearly 2 years old. Ever since then, however, I was always extremely attached to my grandparents and they even called me the "8^th child" because they have 7 children of their own but have literally taken a major hand in raising me.

(my granny and I at an aunt's 4th of July BBQ)

As an infant, toddler, small child, and teenager, I was always with my grandparents. And now, after having graduated college, I live with my grandmother. As you can see, we are very close. This is also why I was so attached to my grandfather, my grandmother's late husband, and took his passing so hard. Many people do not really understand that.

I can talk to my granny about anything. Anything. She always seems to understand my side of things, even though when she was my age, she had been married for 5 years and already had two children. And unlike my mom, any male friend of mine that she has met, she doesn't venture off into questions about marriage, children, or even a relationship. She knows of my many plans and that my mind is on those things first. She does, however, ask about my exes and mentally sizes up any one else for me. I love that about her.

She has helped her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, friends, neighbors, and everyone in between through many trials and tribulations—financially and otherwise. She was married to my grandfather for 56 years (I think) and is also very active at her church (and has been trying to get me to join forever, lol) and has been a member there for 57 years! She is also an avid bowler and is currently a member of a bowling league, which she has been a part for the past 7 years. She also volunteers at the local hospital, in which everyone but me was born (this includes both my mom's and dad's sides of the family, including all of my cousins on both sides as well).

(my lil brother and granny at my parents' house for his prom a few weeks ago)

She is truly an angel and for me to not commemorate this blog to her birthday would not seem right.

(my camera is also out of battery, so I couldn't even upload the pics I have of her on here; the ones shown are already on facebook lol)

This morning, I made her breakfast. She makes me breakfast every morning because my hypoglycemia scares her and I never have time to make my own. I intended for it to be a surprise, but of course, like always, she just happened to wake up right before I did. Looking in the fridge for food to begin cooking, she walks in sleepily, "whatcha looking for, Mal?"

"Trying to decide what to make, Granny," I reply, also sleepily.

"Make for what? You not going to work today?"

"Oh, Grandma. I was trying to make breakfast for your birthday, missy, but……" I trailed off

"Oh, ok. I'll go back to sleep then and act surprised when you come wake me up when it's ready," she responded quickly as she hurried back to her bedroom.

I laughed to myself. Granny is a trip. I love her to death though.

So I made eggs, pancakes, grits, smoked sausage, and capped the meal off with toast and some tropical juice I found in the fridge. When I woke her up, sure enough, she goes, "breakfast? For meeee? Oh thank you, Mal!" most appreciatively and genuinely surprised.

I would have taken a picture but a. I need a picture card for my camera and b. granny would never allow me to take her pic without her at least having on some lipstick and a dab of blush. She's very beautiful and doesn't look a day over 60 years old but you can't tell her that; she'll never listen.

Saturday is the biggest party of the summer in our family. It is her birthday celebration and over 200 guests expect to arrive. I can't wait til it's over to show you guys some pics from it!

And even though this blog is for my granny because she is the best granny ever and today is her birthday, I want to turn the tables to you guys. Who do you want to pay tribute to? What role did they play in your life?

Blog Name: Pics to Come--A Slew of Randomness

I love weekends. I'm usually busy beyond belief on the weekends, but I love them anyway. Why? Because I get to get a LOT of things done and still manage to find time to chill and cuddle underneath the book I'm working on for that moment, amist a bubble bath and some soothing sounds. Tranquility is my bestest of friends.

Last weekend, I admit, I did a lot, physically and mentally. On Friday, I went out to one of my FAVORITE restaurants in Chi—EXPOSURE!!! If you're ever in Chi city, I URGE you to check it out. Why? Plenty of reasons: It's easy to find, the food is great (small portions but good food), the drinks are fab, it's a tapas restaurant---don't we all love tapas?, it's money savvy and not heavy on the pockets at all, the atmosphere is splendid, it's perfect for every type of person, including the Reserved Rose, the Motormouth Mary, the Socialite Stacy, the Boring Bob, and the Sports Fantatic Steven, they make a mean Strawberry Mojito, there's outdoor eating and the inside is equally splendid, there's couches, barstools, tvs, music, and cushiony walls, valet is not only inexpensive but the drivers are soooo nice and relatable, you can converse with them for ever—they are awesome, annnnnnd the spot is Black-owned! What could be better?

(Brazilian Sangria from Exposure!)

(I also met up with this man right here! Hey, Randy!)

It's located at Wabash and 13^th (facing Wabash, of course). I guarantee that it's worth every penny and guess what? I plan to have my 23^rd birthday celebration there. I'm so in love with that place. We'll see how these plans go come the end of September though; I'm pretty sure that they won't change. I put my sister on it too and I convinced her to have her 26^th birthday celebration there as well, which is the end of this month (June 29^th). Pics to come!

So………..granny's 80^th is this Thursday and we're giving her a HUGE beyond HUGE birthday party on Saturday. Over 200 guests are expected to arrive, so when I say huge, I mean huuuge. It's located at a "Chateau" location (a place where weddings are held and such). I am an emcee for the event so this entire weekend pretty much went into the final preparation details for that end of the event. We're all pretty excited about it and within the next couple of days, I will get off the bs and buy a picture card for my camera (which I haven't broken down and purchased since I got the camera for Christmas 2006). So…pics to come!!!

Next Saturday is also my nephew's 5^th birthday party, which follows immediately after my grandmother's party. It is also the day of two of my friend's graduation BBQ. Can anyone imagine just how busy I will be? Can anyone imagine just how many pounds I will gain from all of this food? Take a guess! My guess is somewhere around 25 pounds….

Do you all remember the cut I ranted and raved about getting a few blogs ago? Well, turns out that when I actually went to get the cut, some things arose to which case my cousin ended up talking me out of getting it and I ended up getting my hair evened out from the asymmetrical dealie I had and shorter in the back. This was on the 16^th of May and it is now the 2nd of June and all of it has grown back. I'm beginning to think that my hair is a bit more than human. It's unreal!

Friday I will get the cut. Pics to come on that too!

The co-workers and I have configured a way to save money! A little background first: We got out to lunch just about every day at some restaurant. Wishbone here, Grand Lux Café there, etc. As a result, we easily spend 25 bucks a day on lunch. I for one, am tired of it. I ain't made of money. So, one of us spotted an article on Yahoo Finance last Thursday and decided to give it a shot:

For food (this includes the whole day: breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, whatever), we give ourselves a daily limit. Mine is 20 bucks a day. At the end of the day, if we've gone over our limit, we have to take whatever we went over and apply it to the next day (So, If I spend 25 dollars today, I only have 15 to spend for tomorrow). If we don't go over our limit and still have money left over, the remaining goes into our envelope (a real envelope that we stash for a month of accumulated savings). So if I only spend 15 dollars today, the remaining 5 goes into the envelope. And we have to put away 5 bucks away that is outside of our limit altogether.

So we'd have at least 35 dollars of savings per week. I think it's a good idea and it also shows restraint. Another thing we did here at the office was limit our lunch outings to two days per week (Monday and Friday); the other days we bring our own lunch. We start today. We'll see how this turns out…As of right now, I have 18 bucks to spend for the day; we're doing a Cantonese place and my meal is only 5 bucks!

My blogger site is getting attention. I haven't even really opened it up and told too many folks about it yet (except that one time when it was still under construction) but I've been posting on it ((mainly personal blogs that would never surface the Space) and it is open…I just don't wanna give out the site again just yet. I will though. Soon. However, despite that, I've been getting a good number of views on it. And no comments. Who's checking me out? Show yourself! Lol

I plan to tell the public about it again sometime this week. Stay tuned!

Thursday Thoughts: Powerful PDA!

**from the MySpace page...this blog was posted May 29th and occurs every Thursday.

Ok it's almost 10:30am and my ass has been at work since 9:15 and I still haven't really started with my work tasks. I'm most definitely ready for the weekend and the main reason that I'm ready for it is because tomorrow is what? Yep yep, you've guessed it. Tomorrow is PAY DAY!!!!!

I've been so broke this week it has been UNREAL. Unreal because when payday nears Im usually stretching the dollars but I always still manage to have about a third of my check left. This week though? * sighs * This week I have had to dip into the savings AND still manage to have NOTHING by Monday. I have been struggling and I have REFUSED to go to my savings again after last week for this pay period. I have to learn discipline.

I just had to get that off my chest. Being broke this past week has seriously put a hurtin' on Mal.

Today's TT Blog was inspired by non other than the hustle and bustle of my city, Chi City! Let me start by saying this: Strong PDA sucks! That is all.

Well, that's not really all…..

See, I am a girly girl. I'm super feminine, pretty prissy, and extremely dainty. With all of this naturally comes my emotional side, which is tied to my extreme affectionate persona. I'm affectionate as hell when I'm with the potential. That's just how I am and I couldn't see it any other way.

(Nothing wrong with staking a claim....in a good manner)

But by "affectionate", what do I mean? I mean that I have to touch and be sensual. I kiss in public, but never go overboard. I'm very privy to the sensual kisses that are stolen quickly and catch him off guard.

And what do I see on the street, sidewalks, subways, doorways, steps, stairs, and every where? This is what I see:

(This is actually a LOT less graphic than what I've seen but hopefully you catch my drift)

And I just don't get it.

Like I said, I'm all about showing how much you like someone even in the littlest way by handholding, hugging, closeness, love taps, kisses on the cheek and a peck on the lips, but do you have to make your affection for your significant other Rated R for the world to see? The world is set for General Audiences and a small child (or any child for that matter) just doesn't need to see you two (or sometimes three) practically taking each other's clothes off because you just can not wait until you get within your own quarters to let him/her or them see what you are made of on the inside? Blech!

Yesterday on the way home from work, I'm walking down Dearborn and I swear that within the three minutes that I was on that street, I saw five incidents of some pretty damn powerful PDA. I had on my shades and of course there was an immense amount of people around so what did I do? I SMCH'd! I smch'd hard on three couples and gave an UGH to the other two. Those other two were literally about to have sex on the sidewalk. LITERALLY. Someone had to say something. To my surprise, these couples stopped after my small verbal lashing. I felt like I played a small role in not damaging the psyche of a small child that may have been wandering in their direction and seen their horrific displays that were clearly suitable only for closed doors. Get it together, people!

Kiss and peck and even a little neck. But don't go overboard. That shyt is gross. And there are kids around! Do it for the kids!

That is all.

What is your take on PDA? Do it or no? What is your style?

Subway Shenanigans '08 Kickoff

What you are about to read actually happened to me last Friday. Many of you all know that I don't post on Fridays, so I decided to save this story for today.

Here goes:

Many of you know that over the summer I take the subway to work and since I began that ritual (last summer '07), I put myself in a position to witness (and become victim to) a lot of pretty damn unusual goings on around me. Friday, however, was significantly different for me.

So last Friday, on my way to the subway, I stopped at McDonald's to grab breakfast. I had began to get a tad light-headed and decided to grab something before anything happened*. When I get down to the subway, my train was JUST pulling off. I run to it, hit the door a bit, and hop on. The cart was surprisingly empty, which is hella unusual because the subway, especially in the mornings, is routinely packed—not crowded, but definitely packed. I pay no mind though; I'm tryin to get to work.. The subway is just a seven minute ride. Nothing major.

There's a man standing on my side of the subway who looks at me. I look at him too to get a glance at my surroundings. We smile at each other and kinda chuckle a bit because I had very seriously almost missed the train.

I sit down and look up at the route posted atop the subway door. He sits diagonally across from me. The whole interaction was pretty damn plain, unreportable, normal.

Then this fool starts staring at me.**

And I knew it! I knew it because I had a burning sensation on my face as if his eyes were piercing a hole in my skin, causing my skin to sort of itch a little.

You know how when someone is staring at you, you don't act impulsively at first? You just kinda casually look at them and think to yourself, "why are you staring?"? That was my initial reaction.

Ok wait. Lemme back up just a second. I know some of y'all will probably throw a stranger a mean mug followed by a helping of "what the bleep are you looking at?" but I don't really work that way around folk I don't know, especially folk I don't know on the subway. I can't play that "Mal don't play that" role with everyone.

Ok so back to the story…

So I look back at dude quickly and see he's looking at me. I proceed to look at the route that was posted atop the subway door and keep my eyes facing forward.

Then……*shudders*…

The staring got on my nerves and started to anger me. I was about to throw the mean mug until I looked in his direction. And looked down.

Dude was massaging (not beating) but groping and massaging his um…testicles right.in.front.of.me.

I swear I couldn't make this up even if I tried.

I instantly felt violated. I mean it was bad enough that he had been looking at me like a home-cooked meal he probably hadn't had in ages but this?! Ugh! I felt like he was undressing me with his eyes and using me as his stimulant.

That was it. For real.

I got up out of my seat and sat on another portion of the subway. The rest of the ride seemed to never end! Damn crazies!!!!!

Any other time that I see something weird on the subway, it's mainly involving harmless crackheads and schizophrenics. I've seen schizophrenics talking to themselves at a subway stop on a house phone that needs to be plugged into a wall and going to town on the phone as if they are talking to someone on the other end—abbreviated and seemingly interrupted convos—the whole nine. I've seen a crackhead/schizophrenic person on the subway yelling in an extremely angry and loud tone to his reflection he saw in the subway window because he was angry at said "person", ordering "him" to get his ass off the train and cussing "him" out profusely. And I've seen schizophrenics walking around the subway stop talking to their hand.

All of these incidences are pretty harmless. Hilarious (especially the argument on the subway; that was funny for real), but harmless.

Before Friday, I had never felt so invaded, so exposed. That shyt felt like rape with my clothes on. I've never been a victim to rape but that feeling did not feel nice AT ALL!!! One of the co-workers said that she thinks she may have cussed him out if she was in my shoes. And believe me—this most definitely passed my mind. However, I paused on it because this man was obviously crazy. Crazy folk are like dogs. You make a too sudden movement in front of them and they come at you ten-fold. No, thanks! When I told the co-worker why I didn't snap and get out of my body as I was so prone to do, she understood, "you're right. You never know who you jump bad with. And in Chicago, you can't do it with just any ol' body."

But for the day, this incident had me shook. As a result, I REFUSED to take the subway home on Friday. I caught a ride home.

For some reason when I got to work I felt dirty. Like I needed to wash, scrub, and cleanse myself into oblivion. Ugh!

When I shared this story with others, they had the same sentiment, "gotta love the CTA! But that was weird as hell though"

All I can say is, "I know, right? Ugh. I am so offended!"

This was a sign for me that the summer is vastly approaching. When the summer comes, weird things begin to pop. Anyone from Chicago knows this is true. It's like we get a little sun out and people start to show their personality like they show their skin more in warmer weather. It's warm, so they gotta show their asses….in every sense of the word. It's ridiculous!

*-I have hypoglycemia. Skippng breakfast is not an option. There are serious consequences and on this day my blood sugar had gotten a little low.

**-Staring at me is one of my HUGE pet peeves. It's quite seriously the easiest way to make me mad nervous. I hate it, hate it, HATE IT!!!