17 June 2008

Things That I Just DON'T Understand

I don't claim to know everything at all but I know that there are a lot of things that I know I am well-versed on and there are also a lot of thins that just boggle my brain endlessly producing no result or conundrum of any sort.

What I don't understand:

  1. Freakishly hot or cold weather.

I don't mean to question God or anything but….why the immense heat and no wind? Or the seventeen feet of snow with too much wind? It being too hot outside can cause heat strokes; it being too cold can cause a wide array of things that I am just uncomfortable with. I hate the cold and I'm sure that everyone knows that by now. I guess living in Chicago my whole life had no bearing to my adjustability level because when it is winter outside, I am still not used to that? Think something is wrong with me? I guess I'll never truly understand this "wonderful" phenomenon called whether. I do feel sorry for folks that live in the South or other areas where it is it immensely hot right now. Last week it was hot as hell (all puns intended lol) outside out here; I know it's crazy hot down there; I'm sorry y'all (apologizing for God and whatnot, smh)

  1. Wedge-heeled shoes

It's not that I don't like them. They are just…..I don't know. Maybe I'm just not feeling them at all and probably wont ever fully like wedge heeled shoes, but…..if you're not wearing a stiletto or a distinct heel on your foot, you're not wearing heels. Period. No cheating!!!

  1. Reality TV

First of all, I don't understand why it is called "reality TV" in the first place because it is far from real in any sense. There are ridiculous plots, "characters" played, storylines drawn, and even a few "do overs" when a scene isn't "done right". The only difference between reality TV and um….unreality TV is that there are fewer scenes cut in reality TV. This is a no-brainer. I still don't fully get it because reality TV is generally so……..wack! I mean from the obnoxious and seemingly never-ending seasons of Flavor of Love to it's spin off show, I Love New York and even to the dating shows like Farmer Needs a Wife, I personally just don't see a point. And because there are so many foolish forms of this type of television to view, I fear that in the next five years, that's all that will be displayed on our screens. No more Law & Order, Girlfriends, Wheel of Fortune. No more Jeopardy. No more "innocent entertainment". It'll all be replaced by evasive scenes by the coonery of Flava Flav sticking his disgustingly old and befangled tongue down some poor woman's throat whose only dream is to become a video girl in Snoop's next video in Flava of Love 27. Ugh!

The stuff is getting pretty bad, you all.

  1. Egotistical men

(I just had a full explanation panned out but deleted it. Do I really need to explain it?)

  1. Unnecessarily nosey people

My top pet peeves consist of: Ignorant people, Loud people, Liars and NOSEY people. That's not in order and I truly think that the nosey folks are at the top of my pet peeves list. At times I don't mind simply nosey people because some of those people, believe it or not, actually have some kind of right to know the inquiring information in regards to you, your life, etc. Fact is, you just don't want to share. You want to be evasive. That's fine. I'm the same way. However, unnecessarily nosey people? Those people that want to know your business for the sake of knowing your biz? Those folks that don't even have your best interests at heart, they just want or "need" to know all of this insane information that ordinary people wouldn't even care to know about. Those effers drive me INSANE!!!

  1. Thong pads

I know a lot of my male readers are gonna cringe, but dammit if it aint the most mind boggling thing I've ever seen! Ok it isn't but……you get my point.

Ladies, talk with me. A thong pad. First of all, the thong doesn't cover the whole lower back portion of our bodies and the makers of Carefree have the nerve to make a pad for it?! Weird. What's weirder is the versions of said pad that are out. There's a regular maxi, a long maxi (ew 1 time), maxi with wings, extra long maxi, overnight, triple protection overnight…….(BLECH!)

Ladies, do y'all GET this? Cause I don't. I always thought that when that time of month came, we women HAVE to wear underwear. And I understand that there are women that only wear thongs (wait, no I don't get that either but anyway…..), but that's just gross, gross, GROSS! Ok lemme stop! Moving onto numero siete:

  1. Lurkers

My page is private and for good reason. When I post something and see 91 views and like 6 comments, I'm all in my head like, "er, uh…yea…..I don't like that.". Keep in mind that I don't write for comments (but I definitely like them and adore them all the same) but seeing that many views and weighing out that comment to view ratio and seeing the differentials is mad weird feeling. Like despite the fact that my page is private and I damn near NEVER accept my friend requests, it'd be nice to know who dropped by. At least leave kudos! Por favor y muchos gracias!!!!

  1. Music of Today

There are…….no words. Just know that I am highly dissatisfied. Ugh!

  1. Fox News

In order to prevent the constant urge to cuss wildly, go around yelling and screaming and completely mimicking at least one of those there top pet peeves of mind, I'm just gonna say that I absolutely, and I mean AB-SO-EFFIN-LUUUTELY haaaaaaaaaaate Fox News!!!!

Anyone know why?

That's why! Dammit!

On Saturday, I saw my mom trimming the hedges for the first real time ever in her life. For this to be her first time doing such a thing, I was definitely proud of her and could see her doing that as some kind of side gig if she wanted to. Because I was so proud of my mom for crossing the invisible lines that improperly address the duties of men and women, I went, "good job, Ma" and positioned myself in a quick but admittedly corny hi-five stance. She looks at me quickly as she's still cutting and concentrating and goes, "no high five; gimme a terrorist fist bump". I fell out laughing. Mom can be so cool! Haha

To Fox News,

For real!

  1. The RKelly Verdict

I had the whole weekend to sort out my emotions about the ridiculous "not guilty" verdict that freed Mr. Robert Kelly from 14 counts of child pornography last Friday. When I first heard, my initial reaction was to play it off as a joke. I mean, the verdict couldn't be right. It had to be a joke. When I found out it wasn't and then read reports on the verdict followed by supporters' comments, I got more angry; I can't explain it; it pissed me off!

Toldja said it best in her blog. I can't even speak on it anymore. I just……I can't. I'm too confused. Too angry. Too fed up with the American Justice System. I'm through. For real. Ugh!!!

(This guilty NIGGA got off on 14 counts of child pornography?!!! What is the world coming to? I guess now it's okay for a man to have sex with a little girl and ALSO video tape it as well as disrespect her FURTHER by peeing on her now, right? It's all good, now, huh? SMCH!)

What are some things that boggle your mind?



(Lauren Nicole) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
(Lauren Nicole) said...

Hahah I feel you on wedges. I hate them! I always say it's such a cop out... first it doesn't even look good if you feet are anything larger than say a size 6... secondly it gives the illusion of height with none of the work, if it isn't a stiletto, pump, high heeled sandal... i just dont get it... why wear a cute shoe with a 3 in block on the back??

Have you ever seen like a really cute shoe to get up to it and realize it's a wedge?? LOL I hate that!

Ms_Slim said...

LMAO! I totally feel you.
I have a couple pair of wedged sandals but the wedge is like an inch high. That's all I can bear, wedge-wise lol. I always compare wedges to stacks from the 70s LOL. You've seen 'em. They make anyone 5 feet look 7 feet in an instant and they arent stilts but they could pass for a ridiculous imitation lol

Ms_Slim said...

LMAO! I totally feel you.
I have a couple pair of wedged sandals but the wedge is like an inch high. That's all I can bear, wedge-wise lol. I always compare wedges to stacks from the 70s LOL. You've seen 'em. They make anyone 5 feet look 7 feet in an instant and they arent stilts but they could pass for a ridiculous imitation lol