11 December 2008

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Don’t you hate it when someone lies for absolutely no reason? A combination of little white lies on top of a huge lie which form even huger lies. The person lies about incredibly stupid things like what they ate for breakfast, what the weather is like, or even how many siblings they have. Liars.

Introducing lies. Lies that are told for the sake of conversation. These lies are useless either way—whether told or not, the person being told the outlandish lie really didn’t even need to know said lie in the first place. It would have made no difference either way. You got a brand new car? Great! I’m happy for you. However, if I when I see you and you’re still riding around in your ’97 Ford Taurus and I never see this “new whip”, you’ve earned a permanent side eye. Believe it.

I absolutely hate liars.

Now don’t get me wrong, we’ve all lied before. There isn’t one person that could say “I’ve never ever told a lie” because that in itself would be a lie. Right now, I’m pitifully and painfully financially broke right now and I don’t like to accept money from anyone even when I really, really need it. I’ve got pride like that. So nine times out of ten, if someone offers me money for gas or whatever, I usually decline it: “Oh I’m fine. I’ll be okay”. I know I’m lying. Family and friends that are doing the offering know I’m lying but they also know that I’m being immature and letting my pride get in the way. As a result, I’m given a pass and they slip the money in my coat pocket when I’m not looking anyway. No harm no foul.

White lies, minor slips to save face…things of that nature are all pretty common…if done in moderation. My problem, however, lies with pathological liars.

Pathological liars can’t seem to stop lying. It’s actually to the point that they are such smooth liars that they even go as far as to not only seem to not be able to stop this foolish and ridiculous lying, but also begin to believe their own lies. They’ll even contest you on some “why the Hell are you lying” shyt when confronted. Ugh!

I have this theory. It may even be true and I might have even read it somewhere in one of my psychology textbooks while in Undergrad. I don’t remember if I read it, but it is a possibility (since it seems to make so much sense in my head):

Pathological liars have a psychological problem. For these insane in the membrane © Cypress Hill lookin ass liars, I firmly believe that something happened in this liar’s childhood to make them want to block out the truth so often to the point of complete and utter ridiculousness. Something happened to these people to where reality is just not what’s really good in their lives. Ever. Furthermore, they don’t lie for sole entertainment like some of us do. They don’t lie for the reasons we do or have. They lie and not realize it. It’s like they have literally placed themselves in some sort of alternate universe of sorts. A universe where they control the distinction between truth and reality. However, since they hate reality so much, their own reality is even a lie…and they don’t really realize it. It’s all subconsciously done at this point.

These liars need to stay far-the Hell-away from me. I can’t associate myself with anyone who isn’t in this life here with me, ya know. Someone who just “doesn’t get it”. Someone who flips a switch in their heads (unbeknownst to them) on what’s fake or real. And what’s worse is…I can’t even really be too angry at these people. Why? Because in my mind, there has to be some kind of psychological explanation. It’s like a type of insanity charge or something. They can’t even really take a lie detector test because since they lie so subconsciously, they can trick the machines and not even know it. Insane, much?

All I can do is pray. And hope that these people can stop their lying. I hope that the Devil removes himself from these people and God takes over their being again. No one loves a liar. No one.

Pinocchio Denouncer,



123DEFG said...

As a devout liar for over two decades now, I take offense to this post. You categorize pathological liars with smooth liars. I am president of Smooth Lying Isn’t as Cruel as Killing (S.L.I.C.K). I have always had a slick tongue… it comes naturally. Hell I’ve lied 17 times already and this is only the 5th sentence of this response. The issue falls down on why we are deciding to distort the truth.

Plastic surgery… making your physical appearance look better/different. It’s lying in my opinion. Nature made you one way but you would like to present yourself differently. The same goes for colored contacts, push-up bras, tanning salons and drawn on facial hair (I know you remember Immature going from baby face to hair club for men all about the lip and chin overnight)

Hyping up our own image to appear more appealing to our peers. Bargain shopping… name brand hoarding. Hell, even buying items we can’t afford on credit cuz we’d like the appearance that we have nice things… it’s all lies to me.

People lie in passing all the time to ease discomforting conversations. “Do you think I’m fat?” “Does this hat look good on me?” “Do you think he’ll call?” “Am I that worthless that even prostitutes won’t return my calls?” All of these questions are sensitive and could require some fudging to maintain the person’s sensibility.

So to you… I say Liars have always walked the earth and will always walk the earth. Liars and roaches and politicians… oh my! From all of us at S.L.I.C.K… I’m signing off. I’ve gotta go get in my Bentley and head to the private plane on my way to Aspen for some hot co-co.

DLG said...

LOL at the post above me. I had to click on the name to see who it was... should've known it was "Won" lol.

I think you gave pathological liars too much credit lol. I do think there's a point where people lie to themselves so much that they believe their lies. I just don't believe that pathological liars live in a permanent state of that. To say that almost takes away their fault. I believe that in order to classify something as a "lie", it must be intentional. Otherwise, it's a mistake.

I've been raised to believe that all lies are bad. I understand the purpose a white lie serves, but I'm no good at that sort of thing lol.

I believe that pathological liars have self-esteem issues. They lie to hide who they really are or to impress people. Even though it doesn't feel like a purpose is being served to us, they have one. We think it's unnecessary, I believe they think it's very necessary. But I'm gonna stop there... I can't really know what's going on in the mind of someone like that. What I DO know is that I can't have them in my personal space.

Assertive Wit said...

ahhh liars!

I have a question...wouldn't someone who contradicts themselves ALSO be considered a liar? Allow me to answer that...yes, they are liars.

AND...even though you took it down, the other day you let all who follow your blogs know you CONSTANTLY contradict yourself...so ummm, another question...wouldn't that in fact make you a liar too?

People have various definitions of things so that when they do it, IT'S OKAY, when the TRUTH of the matter is, a lie is a lie is a lie. Whether it's done to spare someone's feelings or done simply out of someone not feeling like telling the truth...it's still something false you CONSCIOUSLY decide to let come out of your mouth...when you can opt for telling the truth.

The truth aint all that popular but I PROMISE you it's the best route at the end of the day. Trust me on that one.

Ms_Slim said...

123DEFG: LOL! Your new moniker is sooo you, Mister Creative haha.
Anyway, SLICK certainly isnt the same as the pathological liar. The PL is over here lying about what they had for dinner. I mean...why? It makes no sense whatsoever. I can see the implant thing or the makeup thing...all those things hold superficial purposes that make the whole subject of "lying" look rather broad and vague. I'm talkin straight up what the fuck lies though. LOL

Thanks for droppin in; SOMEONE had to reel your ass back in :-)

DLG: You are absolutely right. We normals cant possibly try to get in the minds of these folk. They have an agenda by telling us they turned off the alarm and then it goes off 5 minutes later? Really? I wonder what their purpose of lying is in that instance. (read: I'm for real lol). SMH....PL's: Off with your head!!! haha

Ms_Slim said...

Syn: Um yes I took down the major portion of that blog. When I first posted it, I thought I'd be okay with sharing so much. Later though? I found that it bothered me a bit to expose so much at once. I explained that in the very next blog I posted after it. I didnt lie AT ALL in that blog or instance. I said (in that blog that I eventually took out) that I contradict myself a lot. Which is true...and that was a prime example of such. I have never sat and been a PL and lied for no damn reason however. Like I said in this blog, we have ALL lied. But to call everyone a "liar"? A bit of a stretch. Pathological liars though....that's what this blog is about.

NaturallyAlise said...

My stepsister was a pathological liar when we were kids and teenagers, and it was directly related to self esteem (I think), she was a bit of an "ugly duckling" (for lack of a better cliche)so she thought if she told outlandish stories that it would make her more interesting and that people would want to be around her. FAIL. Fortunately she did grow out of it and learned that she had a pretty cool ass reality. People have so little faith in the strength of their real personality and experiences....

oNe mAn gAng said...

^^fuuuuckkk...an ugly duckling lol...she can lie all she wants...the truth is staring you right in the face.

Anyway, I must agree with 123DEFG and Syn...everyone is lying. What's that little one called, a White 'lie'? Hence the word 'lie'...plus, how are you one to pass judgment on what's a good reason for lying or what's not a good reason? What's good in your mind may not be good in another's.

Getting implants and plastic surgery and all that IS lying...fuck what you heard. If you started kicking it with a dude and he later reveals that he used to be a woman, would you call "shim" a liar or be cool? I'm going to guess you would do the former. That's also why I told you I never believe either side if it happens to be some type of face off. People play Wu-Tang and conveniently lie to protect their necks...whether 'white lie' or otherwise.

The sooner the apples stop trying to call out oranges and realize that they all are fruit, the better off folks will be.

Assertive Wit said...

I came back to respond to your comment to me Mallori but after reading Ronnie's comment, there is no need to say anything else...he said it ALL for me. Good look one man...you get your wings back for this one LOL

Ms_Slim said...

NaturallyAlise: I agree with you and the whole self-esteem thing.

OMG: I said that we all lie. But there IS a difference in someone that lies occasionally and someone that lies with every sentence that comes out of their mouths. I understand where you are coming from (and I agree, because I actually said it in the blog lol), but the line is drawn in the sand for the ones that seem to have an ever-growing problem with it. That's all I'm saying...

oNe mAn gAng said...

I hear you...but you're missing a critical point: Who's to say what the reason is, or how many of us are psychologists and can give an OFFICIAL diagnosis? It's one thing to call somebody a lyin' ass muhfucka...it's another to call 'em a pathological liar...because THOSE people usually have some 'incident' attached to why they started lying in the first place...I mean, if we're playing Doctor, that is.

Is 'looking cool' not a good reason if someone suffers from self esteem issues?

Or is it 'no good reason' because you aren't the one telling the fib? And you have to take into account WHAT is being lied about...that cannot be slept on.

Ms_Slim said...

OMG: Heard.

A Genius said...

I agree with everybody.

I'm the most honest liar I know. But really the reason I lie the most is so I won't have to lie even more.