Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

07 October 2009

Green Eyes


I know our love will never be the same
But I can't stand the growing pains




"Emotions run rampant as I sit in reflection, mentally reenacting the times and places in which caused me to become so engulfed in love with you......It's gonna be a while before I'm once again complacent" -Me


Today I don't feel this way.
This October 7th, 2009, I don't hold this emotion.
In this present moment, I am happy.
Not hurt. I'm okay.

But once upon a time, I felt like this
I was this woman before
Eyes so green I become another, less likeable version of myself
A woman scorned

...By Love (capital necessary)

.......and this song sang a familiar tune to my soul.

*le sigh*



MusicPlaylist
MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com




Before I heal, it's gonna be a while
I know it's gonna be a while, chile

02 March 2009

Insomniac Ramblings Part 194


It's 2am and I've gotta be up at 5 yet.....there isn't any part of my body that is sleepy. At all. I swear I'm beginning to think that this particular bout of Insomnia is only getting worse instead of better. I have my own ideas and theories of why that is but....ah well for now I guess...

Anyway, I'm in my mind tonight and I'm thinking about a plethora of things. I realize also that I haven't written a haiku in years. I "quit" writing them because I reached a point where I felt like the complexity of haikus were both simple yet complex at the same time. They were simple in that they were only comprised of three lines and very few and rather simple words usually. Yet they were complex because (at least for me), when a haiku was written, I never felt like I had enough down...yet, by definition and 'rules' of the haiku, I did.

However, I was talking to one of my homegirls who just so happens to have a blogspot too, VerbFashion, and we got to talking about haikus, so I said I'd throw one up here to reflect my present state of mind. Here goes:


Late night thoughts run by

Seeping through and purging forth

Crevices of me

I'm rusty,

Ms_Slim

20 February 2009

Insomniac Ramblings Part 193

It's 5am right now.

This is my third (and possibly last) time getting up during the night for the day.

Sleeping in quick and very uneven bursts. Clearly Insomnia has made a Comeback. Been in the works for the last several weeks.

Now its feet are planted firmly on my soul for the time being, holding me captive for.....I can't be sure how long. I never am. It rules, not I.

Right now though, I'm packing and preparing for a much-needed weekend vacay from it all. I plan to de-stress, of course. And hopefully kick Insomnia back to where it came from.

On second thought, maybe that last part of what I expect from my weekend getaway is asking too much?


I need my Pillow. Dammit.

03 February 2009

When It Hurts...

When It Hurts....



What a night I’m having. Blah.

Anyway…Ahhh…I heard this song for the umpteenth time today on the way home from work and it wasn’t until today that it actually made me think on a grander scale than, “yea…he’s right”.

This song is personal for me for a couple reasons but the most notable—the one I’d share is how the song made me think of my ex.

I make reference to my ex every now and again. You see, my ex and I split a while ago, tried for a year and a half to repair, realized it wouldn’t work and here we are. Apart. All good on my end. On his…..well that isn’t really what’s important lol…

The song, “When It Hurts” is talking about and suggesting giving the definition of love another meaning of sorts. So many people look at their relationship, see how great it’s going and it’s “I’m in love”…then if something unexpected happens and the happiness fades and is replaced with pain, then it’s “forget him/her” and “it’s over”. The song is asking that when things are going bad (when it hurts), you still have that same passion…that same desire for your mate. When it hurts, you’re still there. When it hurts, you don’t cash in the chips so quickly but rather you work on it—work through it—and get through the bad patches together. When it hurts…

But what if it’s hurting all so badly all too often? Is that song still relevant? Is it fair to have a breaking point and put ‘love’ aside and favor personal sanity?


My ex and I went through a lot of things in our relationship. We were together for some years and we ultimately grew up and apart from one another. But what really drove us to stop trying to work things out was the fact that we kept playing our version of “When It Hurts” in our heads throughout the duration of our relationship until it was the only song that could describe what we were.

All intimate relationships have their ups and downs, their smooth roads and rough patches, and the days you love versus the days you…”meh, love”, but if the bad starts to outweigh the good and if that pain mounts itself onto your soul until you see no more blue skies but rather a steam of dark clouds, gray skies, and terrible weather filled with the worst storms days can buy, and “When It Hurts” becomes the prime definition of your relationship rather than, “When In Love”…are you cruel for leaving? Heartless, even?

Everyone deserves their dose of intimate happiness and love shouldn’t hurt more than it feels good.

17 December 2008

Love Song 1

Okay. Below is the poem I promised. NOTE: I so rarely show my poems to the masses it's ridiculous. Anyway, I wrote this about a year and a half ago. The inspiration revolving this is pretty obvious...but the story is too long to share. Enjoy.

Love Song 1


Risqué romance

Picture perfect places

Rambunctious ramblings

Flawless faces



Awesome accidents

Totally tricked

Amazing atrocity

Bubbling beauty



Hidden hindrances

Silence spoken

Helping hands

Long-distance loving



Ferocious flame

Cautious creeping

Fictitious frame

Raging red



Sidestep songs

Factual feelings

Softening sonnets

Passionate passion



Bouncing beats

Rhythmic rhymes

Breath-taking breaths

Instrumental interlude

Interconnected. Intertwined.

05 December 2008

When It Hurts So Bad

On my way to work today, I popped in my homegirl and let her words fill up all of my speakers throughout my car. When this song came on though, I almost pulled over to the curb once I got off the expressway and let it all out. But I didn't.






Lauryn Hill - When It Hurts So Bad


I swear I miss L. Boogie in the music game. Even though she just dropped one real album, her music has touched soooooo many people; it is unreal. I am convinced that she is the perfect artist. How awesome is it that a person's first (and apparently only) attempt at something that involves mass response turns into such a success and captivates such a huge audience on such a real level? How awesome is that? Lauryn Hill is the epitome of greatness.


This song is so beautiful and it's how I feel right now. At this exact moment. I know a lot of my blogs are not really too personal (I am, after all, a very private and reserved individual) and even on my MySpace joint when I talked about my down periods from time to time, I never fully described the pain. But the pain is real and the pain is constant. And just when I thought it was over, turns out, I am still in pain.


Michael Jordan said that "pain is weakness leaving the body". If that's true, then that means that I am super strong, right? If that's true, I should be like a superhero at this point, right?. But I don't feel so super. I don't feel so strong. I don't feel so great. I just feel this pain. And it hurts and I feel weak.



But don't anyone fret over me. I will be fine soon. Everyone have a great weekend.




No Salutation,



Ms_Slim

12 September 2008

Love Is You

Her album dropped last year sometime but every now and again, I get in my moods to play Chrisette Michele's "I Am" album and play it from beginning to end with no pauses in between. I've been playing it rather often as of late though.


And it's not because I can "relate" to her songs of love and romance now. Hell, y'all know I'm through with the fellas for the remainder of '08. At least that's my declaration and as of right now, it isn't gonna change. However, I absolutely love this album. I think the main reason that I'm currently playing "I Am" like music in and of itself is going out of style soon is because the album kinda gives me hope for what I'd seek in my future as far as love and relationships go.


"Love Is You" is one of my favorite songs on the album, hands down. The song is not only beautifully sang but is also beautifully written and it is obvious that she wrote it from a personal place in their heart. Her voice reminds me a lot of the late Billie Holliday as well.


Here's a clip for those unfamiliar. Take a listen.



It's a pretty simple song that at the same time manages to effortlessly convey her message and capture your heart so that you could actually feel what she's feeling, even if you've never experienced this kind of love personally yet.


I've felt like this before. Once upon a time with my ex. And even though it's been a while since I've truly felt like this, I haven't forgotten the feeling in the least. Consequently though, I haven't been reminiscing on those times from way back "when we were in love" either. I don't want my ex back. At all. I don't miss him. I don't have any "what if's" swirling in my head either. I moved on from that situation years ago. This song, however, is just extremely powerful and reminds me of how powerful the emotion itself truly is.


Listening to this song made me think of a lot of the simple pleasures that encompasses "love". Long walks on the beach, inside jokes that only you and him understand, laying in bed watching a movie or just cuddling in silence, being able to trust that special someone with the difficult topics, unspoken connectedness, and conversations about anything at all that could brighten their once gloomy day. Just being with that person makes you feel renewed and refreshed. It's a beautiful feeling.


Questions (My questions):


Can you relate to this song today? Have you ever been able to relate to it? What are your ideals on the concept of "Love"?


Questions (Ms. Michele's):


Love—what's your definition of it? How's it make you feel? Tell me what you say that truly makes it real….


Good Girl is my jam too.

So is Work It Out, Mr.Radio, and If I Had My Way


PS; Joy and I talked about the flipside of love--the complications and why it's oftentimes "hard" HERE. Tune in!