03 February 2009

When It Hurts...

When It Hurts....

What a night I’m having. Blah.

Anyway…Ahhh…I heard this song for the umpteenth time today on the way home from work and it wasn’t until today that it actually made me think on a grander scale than, “yea…he’s right”.

This song is personal for me for a couple reasons but the most notable—the one I’d share is how the song made me think of my ex.

I make reference to my ex every now and again. You see, my ex and I split a while ago, tried for a year and a half to repair, realized it wouldn’t work and here we are. Apart. All good on my end. On his…..well that isn’t really what’s important lol…

The song, “When It Hurts” is talking about and suggesting giving the definition of love another meaning of sorts. So many people look at their relationship, see how great it’s going and it’s “I’m in love”…then if something unexpected happens and the happiness fades and is replaced with pain, then it’s “forget him/her” and “it’s over”. The song is asking that when things are going bad (when it hurts), you still have that same passion…that same desire for your mate. When it hurts, you’re still there. When it hurts, you don’t cash in the chips so quickly but rather you work on it—work through it—and get through the bad patches together. When it hurts…

But what if it’s hurting all so badly all too often? Is that song still relevant? Is it fair to have a breaking point and put ‘love’ aside and favor personal sanity?

My ex and I went through a lot of things in our relationship. We were together for some years and we ultimately grew up and apart from one another. But what really drove us to stop trying to work things out was the fact that we kept playing our version of “When It Hurts” in our heads throughout the duration of our relationship until it was the only song that could describe what we were.

All intimate relationships have their ups and downs, their smooth roads and rough patches, and the days you love versus the days you…”meh, love”, but if the bad starts to outweigh the good and if that pain mounts itself onto your soul until you see no more blue skies but rather a steam of dark clouds, gray skies, and terrible weather filled with the worst storms days can buy, and “When It Hurts” becomes the prime definition of your relationship rather than, “When In Love”…are you cruel for leaving? Heartless, even?

Everyone deserves their dose of intimate happiness and love shouldn’t hurt more than it feels good.


btate said...

Came across this great poem for Black History Month :


Every morning we awake in haste
Not knowing what might take place

Past generations headed in one direction
As if they were all just a mere reflection

No longer are we knaves on a plantation
But we continue to work with dedication

We are now filled with anticipation
Since we are in sight of our new destination

Our children now join with others and sing
All because of a man named King

We have leaders among us with the same mission
But none of this would of been possible without a vision

Our hearts blaze within us like a fire
Because of our aspirations, dreams, and desires

These desires we see with clarity
What we seek is prosperity

Every night we lay our heads down
Thanking our Maker for blessings that abound
By David L.

good link on african-american's in space :


Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

keep your head up folk

Diamond~Star said...

Do stay strong. Your post was deep.

I know it has been a minute but I am still hanging in there. Will be back on here as a "regular" soon. Take care.

Amau said...

Great video!

VerbFashion said...

1st: I've never heard this song until i just read this but I like your posing of the question when bad outweighs the good...are you cruel for leaving?

Naa..I don't know if it's just me being a very SELF first person but I just feel like love should be so good that it hurts (to let it go) not "i'm in love so though I feel crappy IN it I'll stay"

When It Hurts...yes work through in an effort to find a solution but do NOT let it hurt because pain is part of your twisted definition of love.